And She Did

"Back Away From A Liar- I have Asperger's so I am more easily duped than the next person. I take a person at their word... Don't even think about it. Now, I'm not talking about something like a minor inconsistency in a story (unless it leads to a huge lie). I am talking about a LIE. He wasn't where he said he was going to be, he was hours late...She's just a friend, etc. Go with your gut. If you ignore your instinct too many times, it won't work anymore. If he lies, leave." (*)

Yup, all that writing - online and offline - has helped relieve the stress and anxiety I feel today. It's amazing how it doesn't even have to make a lick of sense, yet writing does so many wonders for the brain.

It is a beautiful thing to get your thoughts out, and in turn, get to know yourself a bit better. :)

Is thing on?

HELLLoooooo Bloggy Blogg Blogg Bloggerson. =)

*cue the sappy music*


I love you blog. Sorry I've neglected you for so long! I just haven't been skin picking much lately. A lot things have changed in my life recently. Major changes in several different categories of life actually. Some sad, some less sad. It's just one of those weird things I guess that keeps you from getting too dull or complacent in life. It's like a higher power sending you a message from above and saying something like 'hey you... WAKE UP! WAKE UP! OR YOU'RE GONNA DIE!' Hahaha ...And yeah, that is a bit scary, but I do look forward to the challenges ahead (ironically enough). I have so many things I want to go out and experience at the moment. And I'm deeply and humbly excited about that. :)

I do wanna mention that I adore and appreciate my body more now. Compared to last year, when I mentioned all those body image issues on here - I realize now that it was just sooo silly and stupid. I now see that I am pretty in my own unique way. But what has also made that easier to believe is the fact that I've recently stopped drinking coffee, and my skin is as clear as a beautifully creepy porcelain doll again!

(LOL. Well, pretty close... I still have those freckles to contend with. ;)

Anyway, my soul is feeling a sense of improvement overall. Ever since 2010 started, I've truly wanted everyone in this world to be happy and go after their dreams. I actually cry about it at night sometimes. That's how deeply I want everyone, and myself, to experience such a freedom. I know... I know... "SILLY APRIL, why the hell is she crying about that?" I simply feel emotions so deeply sometimes that I have to cry silently in my room about them - even the happy idealism's floating around in my head. It's weird I guess. :)

I just want a world where everyone has the opportunity to do what they love, achieve whatever they want to achieve, help others, and feel genuinely good and honest about it. Not driven by so much meaningless work that they get hateful towards others or neglect the ones they love altogether. I want people to enjoy life and slow down to notice the little peculiar and pretty things in this world. As well as realize that love and acceptance is the answer to every situation, no matter how negative and hurt you feel at the time.

Personally, I just really LOVE THE WORLD and all the beautiful things in it. That's what has changed about me this year (and boy, has summertime been a true test of that). I'm clearly not perfect at this - hate still creeps in and tries to scar my soul sometimes. But that's bound to happen, and you just have to acknowledge it, be completely honest with yourself, learn from it, and move on! I do think that photography, art, and music has really instilled that warm fuzzy feeling inside of me, and helped me come to this important realization about life. These artistic mediums have created in me a deeper appreciation of the lovely, quiet, lonesome, and eerie parts of nature - and the world in general. And it is part of what drives me to keep myself alive and learn new things.


BLAHHH! Alright, I don't know where I'm going with this blog anymore. It's already pretty random. Sorry about that guys.


I honestly do want to make an effort to post more positive things on here. Now, I don't want to be boring about it or anything. I mean, I love weird, trashy, ironic, and offensive humor too!! I just... want my optimism and happiness to permeate from within me and in everything that I do; in hopes that it might make someone else feel a tiny bit better. I want to live with an honest and open heart. As I've said, I'm definitely not perfect at this, but I'm working on that and have made great strides this year. More and more, I want to refrain from judging myself or anyone else in a negative light, and focus on the good wherever possible. I want my soul to feel jovial and free of all that negative crap. I have learned from experience that that kind of stuff is just no fun for anyone and eats at your soul eventually.

I want to continue learning how to be more selfless, honest, and beautiful inside and out... each and everyday. And I hope you all do as well - you know, in some way or another. :)


Thank you for reading and comprehending despite all the cheeeese. :)

<3