Clink.

It has yet AGAIN come to my attention that I haven't blogged in 'ee-ons.'

But who's reading this anyway? I can only count one or two people. And I can count it on two hands (one finger per hand) just to be funny.

Anyway, I've been busy. The good kind of busy. Preparing for parties and what not. But with that 'busy' comes stress of course... and skin picking. I have been picking a little more in the past few days. Mainly on certain areas of my skin. Re-opening scabs for only God knows why because I don't.

I really think I need to blog more again. I have this need to express word and thoughts somehow. Whether through Facebook, Twitter, this bloggy blog... I have to do it. Or through drawing or photography, singing, etc. Even going to the gym. All this just to keep me busy and away from my skin. Thinking outside of myself, getting out of my head, and decreasing my procrastination would diminish the skin picking too. But am I gonna fix all that overnight? Durp durp.

I actually follow a couple of 'skin-picking' blogs here on Blogspot. I just read a post tonight. Her blog posts are even longer than mine (wow?), but I was amazed by all that she has accomplished to be free of skin-picking. Inspiring.

Well, today I got contacts again (you know, those things you stick in your eyes?). It's really a very long story. But to sum it up: Got contacts in summer 2007, didn't like them, tried another kind, was happy with them, then lost them in January 2008, and haven't been able to get back to the optometrist since. I had even paid a hundred or so dollars in 2007 to start receiving boxes of contacts regularly. Needless to say, everything worked out today. Along with insurance coverage and that hundred or so dollars I paid in 2007, I had to pay almost nothing for a year supply of 1 month contacts. Oh, and I also get a $100 rebate just for choosing the brand of contacts I chose. $100 Visa gift card... Rock! (Yeah, it's not in cash... Boo.) I'm really looking into Lasik surgery too. I don't want all my money going toward contacts for the rest of my life when I could be using it for permanent eye correction. :)

Also today, I got a many steps further in setting up this new computer since the last time 'we talked.' And... I finally downloaded some apps for my iPod Touch I bought almost a year ago! I think I hated the fact that I had to pay for an upgrade just to download dumb ol' apps, so I kind of put it off. I'm not really an iTunes person. I've had bad experiences with downloading EPs from iTunes (and more so, them not refunding the ones that didn't download at all). In any case, I'm thoroughly enjoying these apps. The ones I currently have are: Lose It!, Tap Tap Revenge 2, uSightRead, and FingerPiano. They are so nice when you're bored. Can't wait to download guitar ones. Just gotta find a decently reviewed one.

If you have any KILLER apps to suggest no matter what genre they fall into... let me know. ;)

Hmmm... After reading what I typed, it really bothers me. I take so long to do anything in life it seems. I'm definitely a flawed individual. I really hate that. Oh, and another example of this? My Carfax account expires in like, 4 days and I still haven't really found a car. Well, I can't say that is entirely true... there is a potential car that is up to my co-signer's 'standards.' Gotta go see the car this week for sure, or I'll scream.

Relying on other people SUCKS. So much. Don't ever do it.

Well... I should go now. I have lots to type about, but I'll just tone down my mind and overthinking tonight.

Here's to minimal procrastination and overanalyzing!

*clink*



Night.

What the Flip!

Have I really not blogged since June 18th?

What the..

So. Here I am BLOGGY BLOG ready to type on your bum. To add more words and paragraphs to your never-ending database of blog entertainment.

I really don't have much to say. A lot of exciting stuff has happened. Along with some bad emotional things, but MOSTLY... good things.

As far as the skin picking department, I've had my ups and downs the past few days. I'm trying not to stress myself out too much. However, with all the preparations I did yesterday and will continue to do until this Saturday, I am making sure to keep my hands busy preparing and away from my skin. What am I (mostly) preparing for? A Mary Kay party. HAHAHAHA. I care too way much about appearances apparently. No biggie. I just want the house to look good and treats/goodies to be made and presented cleverly. There are other things I am doing though. Painting, writing, and such. Getting inspired everywhere I turn on any given day. My mind could explode any second from so much inspiration all around me. But I'm trying to stay peaceful.

Father's Day was fun yesterday. Spent the whole day pretty much cooking and transferring files from the old computer to the external hard drive so that I can transfer them to the new compu-tay. (Had a wee bit o' trouble getting the hard drive to work on my old foagie computer box. And yeah, that damn new computer still hasn't been set up. I'm not gonna feel sad about it though. Nope. I freaking refuse to.

Anyway... Dad's Day... Food. I made him breakfast. Didn't make him what I had planned to exactly, but it ended up turning out ridiculously great. It was made up of his favorite foods: Spiced Buttermilk Waffles, scrambled eggs, cantaloupe, and limeade for breakfast; organic carrot cake with cream cheese frosting for after dinner. I have photos of all the foods too. I was too busy running around to eat too much of it. I am glad everyone else enjoyed it and had their fill. Oh yeah and my brother's girlfriend got to enjoy breakfast with us. Her dad was working that day. I was quick to learn that her dad is a chef who rarely has time to cook for his family. Awww... sniff.


Ummm... Well, this blog post is too long. It just is. All my blog posts are rather long, but this exact one most specifically... Way wayyyyyyy too long. It is perhaps the longest one in a deceiving sea of even longer ones...



Yeah . . . .





Goudanighte.

Nunchuckies.

Woohoo for today!

I was a bit tired all day. Still, it was an awesome day. Went to work, went missing ingredient shopping for Father's Day, went with my brother to get an external hard drive so I can get this damn new computer set up. My dad had been leading us on into thinking he was finally gonna set up the terabyte server he bought many months ago now. Sorry dad, we don't believe you will ever have time to set it up. I really don't want my old computer to outright die before I find a way to transfer the files I want to keep onto the new computer.

Poor overly busy entrepreneur daddy?


Last night after blogging, a funny FUNNY thing happened... I picked at my skin. *braces for shattered glass to be thrown at her* Ugh. I got pretty worried about something last night and thus, the picking happened. It's so stupid. It was also, you know, late in the night, I was zoning out, getting bored, etc. etc. Today, the area of my skin I picked last night does not look so good. Wish I could describe what it looks like. Don't wanna share TMI with you. It looks... mildly infected. I really didn't pick much though. Odd.

Moving forward...

Tonight (just now in fact) I realized what I really loathe about summer. Bugs! Not just any ol' bugs, bugs in your house that belong in the sewer or outside!! I do enjoy watching my two cats chase them around though. Crazy, huh? But the cat on duty tonight completely lost the bug criminal bastard. So I am now scared and going to bed extra early so I won't have to accidentally find the butt ugly thing. Haha! I'm really not that scared... heh... heh... It's only when they run towards me and bug spray or an old shoe are not within reach. That's when I'm absolutely jumpy and horrified!! :/

Ha.

Anywayze.

Tomorrow is another great day. I don't know why... but... IT IS! :D

J.K.? I do too know why. I mean, it's gonna be great because I can move mountains with my optimism and fight skin picking with my nunchucks. (I really don't have nunchucks. I have a taser. But no nunchuckies.)

Umunum...

Some old friends wanna hang tomorrow night. So whatever. That's cool. I'm down. I'm gonna be a good sport and show up.





Goooooooooooooooooooooooodnightlight!

Coffee?

Yay for today!

I feel very model-ish for some reason. Even though I'm definitely not a model. I went to work, worked out, yoga'd, watered tons of my neighbor's plants, worked out some potential tunes with my brother, etc.

Nice day.

Ahhhhh... I think I've switched future aspirations again. Why am I in love with music? I'd have a much easier time being an actress. There would be hundreds of auditions, but I just think my chances of getting hired for something are a lot higher. But I sometimes, I don't enjoy acting. And I just can't get away from wanting to play music. I'm gonna start taking lessons again. I can sort of easily teach myself, but obviously... I have ADD like the dickens. It's hard to explain, but I know where certain notes and chords are on the guitar or piano, but... yeah... hard to explain. I just want someone to whip my ass, basically, and keep me on track.

I also can't wait to start painting again. I want to try other mediums. I've been painting and using watercolor off and on ever since I was 7. (Everyone on my dad's side knows how to paint and draw really well, it's ridic.) I think it's time I try acrylic or oil... or something else, or some combination I make up on my own.

You know, I'm probably just really not good at any one thing or one 'talent'. That scares me to bits. If I could only fall in love with ONE thing... just ONE! I might be more successful? I don't understand this curse of wanting to do so many things. I blame my parents and the hot summer weather. I gotta focus on 'impressing' myself, not other people. And that's generally what I strive to do. Underneath it all though... I kind of secretly want people to care . . .

Boooo.

Hmm, alright. This blog is going nowhere and is getting confusing. So anyway, I can honestly say I did not pick at my skin at all today! However, I will need to go see my dermatologist soon for a 'skin' checkup of sorts. I have, and have always had, tons of freckles on my arms, some on my face, and a miniscule amount on my legs. The rest of my body is completely devoid of sun spots. It's crazy. I'm a tan, skin damaged girl with a white, porcelain stomach and back. Yeah, I'm a FREAK. Where's that summer coat? I wanna undo these arm tans!

So yeah, blah... dermatologist. Just a yearly check to make sure I don't have any of them skin cancer cells. Hey, might as well do it while I still have health insurance because in another year... No more insurance. Woo?

Car searching looks hopeful today. I'm excited. When I finally get a frackkkkking car, I'm gonna drive all around Arizona, and out of state every chance I get! :)

Dreamy dreamer.

Hmmm... I plan to make my dad some awesome Father's Day goodies this weekend. The usual homemade breakfast -- biscuits, sausage, scrambled eggs, maybe waffles, fresh fruit, juice, coffee -- (sigh, can't forget the coffee for my parents; my mom will probably be up at 4am making it anyway.) And a carrot cake for dessert later in the day. I'm not entirely sure if I'll get him an actual gift yet. I have ideas -- massage gift certificate, beginning yoga dvd (yes, he has expressed interest in order to relieve his lower back pain), sky diving 'gift certificate'... (do they even offer those?).

Speaking of coffee, ever since they went to Seattle in 1994 and hit up the first Starbuck's on the planet, gourmet coffee has been a necessity at my parent's house. Coffee makers, coffee grinders, coffee presses, cappuccino machines arrived and departed at various times of the last two decades. We have so many half-used bags of coffee beans in the freezer it's ridiculous. They're probably from 10 years ago too. My mom even puts ground coffee beans in her homemade wheat bread. That and unsweetened cocoa. And it tastes damn good! Like, WOW.

So yeah... Starbuck's inspiring my parents is interesting. I don't even know if they were coffee drinkers before? I know my mom's parents were/are -- plain, bland, black, Folger's coffee lovers -- gross. My first Starbuck's/coffee shop experience was in San Francisco when I was 8 or 9. It was at a drive-thru Starbuck's. I thought the name was very very funny and didn't understand why their mascot was a mermaid lady. Hmm. I had a hot chocolate on my first visit. It was good, I recall . . . I don't know when I first had coffee. Probably at my plain, black coffee loving grandma's house when I was...7 or 11. I made sure to pour lots and LOTS of sugar in it when Nana wasn't looking...

Wow, coffee? Seriously? I don't know how I got on that subject. Oh well, owning a coffee shop in a small town where coffee shops are non-existent would be cool. That's something I wanna do one day. Agh. See? I'm a silly. A real ADD freak.




Welp. Gotta hit the hay. And I'm tired of saying "Goodnight" so umm...

Hasta la vista, Beetches!

Beneath My Toes.

Hi!

Today was FANTASTIC.

The highlight of the day? Getting my haircut across town. She did such an awesome job. And getting that hair product exchanged despite my earlier disgruntlement with the receptionist lady and finding out I had thrown away the receipt by accident. In any case, telling the head hairstylist that "I'm just gonna sell this [shit] on Ebay if I can't get it refunded" earned me the exchange? I dunno. He just handed me what I wanted (a Matrix product... woo!), I handed him the crappy stuff I didn't want and walla! I was on my way. I expected to at least pay the difference in price, but to my surprise... I didn't even have to stroll to the register or pull out my debit card.

Yeah. And some other cool things happened. It was an overall good day.

I did pick at my arms and shoulders out of boredom though. Our nice older lady neighbor got knocked over and bit by a neighbor dog yesterday afternoon. She got 16 stitches in her leg. She's in pain, but doing much better today while the neighbor dogs are under city-enforced quarantine in the guilty neighbor's house for a few days.

So anyway, while we were over there visiting her, my mom and the neighbor yapped on for an hour or so, and I just started nonchalantly picking at my skin out of boredom. Silly me, we live across the street. I could have just left and the skin picking might not have ever happened. Ugh. But ya know, I was trying to be there for our neighbor. She's done quite a lot for us. For reals.

It's ok. No biggie. I still feel GREAT!

And wow, that crazy jetstream in the U.S. is making the weather rather nice here too. It's amazing. How can 90 degree weather feel so awesome? Yup. ...I don't know either!

So um... work then yoga tomorrow! And more dumb car searching. Bleh. And whatever else. I'm trying to stay optimistic about the car search thing, but I'm beginning to think I was never meant to have a vehicle of any kind. I wish we as a society didn't need cars. Why can't we just fly, glide, or float? Where's my hoverboard?



Goodnight. :)

Because.

So I need to blog today...

Well, today's accomplishments included avoiding a big, GIMUNGO skin picking session. I fought it hard, and I fought it good... and I won.

J/K. I mean, it is true: I didn't pick at my skin. And I definitely avoided a big screw up. But I found it easy to do for some reason...

Maybe it was because I was SO DAMN FULL FROM ALL THOSE (whole-wheat) BISCUITS I MADE!

I was just so focused on my stomach being in pain that I couldn't focus on anything else. You'd think the stress of being full would cause someone who is prone to picking at their skin... to pick at their skin. But. NOPE! Apparently not.

So I gotta get f-cking fat to conquer this skin picking, eh? Well, as much as I enjoy avoiding my skin... NO DICE!

I don't wanna give up this rather thin body. No sir/madame.



Alright. I also went to work today blahblahblahblahblah. It was pretty pleasant. I tried not to dream of escaping the confines of my work's plastered walls and tantalizing vaulted ceiling too much. One day though... no more. No more of you, Work.

I'll be doing the work I like, B*TCHES!


Anyway.

Haircut tomorrow. Wooo-oooo! I'm gonna go to the salon and not only get a haircizzut, but also express my disgust at a 'salon receptionist' (?) who told me over the phone that I can't return a hair salon product just because "I don't like it." Geez lady... Who the hell returns stuff they DO like?!?!?! People dislike things for all kinds of reasons. She didn't let me finish my sentence to tell why I didn't like the product. Ohhhh... the NERVE of her...

Imwritingafackingletterificantgetthisworkedouttomorrow!



Goodnight.

Pain.

I didn't blog yesterday and won't type much today.

I'm not feeling very well psychologically and physically.

I feel like absolute hell.

But little to no picking of my skin.

That's all I will say right now.



Goodnight.

Code Yellow-Orange.

I picked at my skin today.



Shame shame. :(

Yo-ga-ga-ga.

Didn't do a WHOLE whole lot today, but I had fun. No complaints. I just sung around the house most of the day. I sung to my cats and dogs more than I usually do. Made up songs about them, about their nicknames, and then sung some real songs 'til I could sing loud enough and perfect enough without sounding like I was straining to hit the high notes. I just sung the high notes 'til they felt like they were emanating from my head and not my nose. That's why they call it a "head voice" Ahhhhhhh... but that's easy. Anyone knows that. There are other more technical reasons why it turns into a "head voice," but I won't bore you with that shit.

Ummmm... I just feel good today in general. Yoga the day before a day off always does wonders. I went to my gym after work yesterday thinking I was walking into a pilates class (because they're usually on Wednesday at 4:30pm), then found out some news. I walked in quietly, stepping over students with their bums already on a mat to grab a yoga/pilates mat for muhself. I placed the mat on the floor, took off my running shoes, socks, etc. The teacher was already there waiting for the clock to scream 4:30pm so she could begin the class. And right as the clock struck 'begin-class-now,' the first words that she blurts out are: "You may have thought you came to a pilates class, but I have news for you... THIS IS YOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!"






K, she didn't say it like that. That's just how I envision it. It'd be funny if she had said something totally crazy like "This is not a pilates class anymore, this is now a skydiving class." I mean, WHAT?

But no, seriously, the gym's class schedule just changed that's all. We now have two yoga teachers -- one from the USA or somewhere I don't know, and one from South America. They're both awesome and both teach hatha yoga. Though the South American one (who does the Monday 4:30pm yoga class) has a slightly different approach, I like it. I think she taught the Wednesday yoga teacher (the gym veteran/the one I'm used to) some new tricks.

Anyway, onto other matters... I'm finally hosting a Mary Kay party to help out a friend. Or at least, I thought I was helping her out... until I found out she's actual a very high up Mary Kay. Nevermiiiiiiiiind... I'm still throwing the party though. I've been putting it off for almost a year now. I feel cheesy having one, but at least no one has to buy anything and AT LEAST it's not a Saladmaster party. Saladmaster may make you a big healthy meal, but they really hassle you to buy $10,000 titanium cookware. You do get some free cookware pieces when you host though. That's pretty stellar. I want my free wok! That's the next one... I might just host again. Because with a wok, who cares if you don't get a skillet? The wok is all I'd ever use! It's like, multi-use, ya know?

Alright. Enough jibba jabba. Let's get to the REAL vegan meat of this blog:


I DID NOT PICK AT MY SKIN TODAY.


AND if I did, it was just messing with a pimple or something like that. Haha! Seriously though, I really focused on de-stressing and not letting my hands touch my skin or anything. It was awesome. I think singing all day today helped de-stress too. If ever I felt like picking, I just sang instead. Not every time, but a few times. :)

While my coworker was at work, she called me at sunrise on my day off because she wanted a 'favor'. ("Please call me back to find out what favorrr I want...") I mean, what? It was just awkward sounding. Why couldn't she just tell my on voicemail? Pfft... She called enough times, jeesh.

So naturally, I was very very hesitant to call her back. I thought she was wanting me to come in and cover for her or... worse. But since I knew I'd be seeing her at work the next day, and she was obviously not gonna stop calling me even though our work place was now closed, I finally texted her to find out what the crap she wanted. All she had wanted to do was switch hours with me next week. LOL.

My hours next week are SuhhhWEEEEET!



I'm done now.



Night-night beddy bye's.

White.

Work. Workout. Yoga. Mary Kay Eviting. Music. Dreaming. Minimal Skin Picking.

That about sums up my day!

:)



p.s. I will find a summer coat to make my arms as powder white as possible again. I'm sick of being tan. So so sick, dagnabbit. The mere sight of freckles and sun damage is driving me über crazy.

p.s.s. I'm so proud of how I butchered a Mary Kay image for my evite invitation. :) Butcher-rama.

Gang.

I'm feeling excruciatingly bloated today. And for someone who's been eating more vegetables than normal lately... it doesn't make any sense.

I think it's safe to blame my bloat on the organic almond butter I bought. I was suspicious of it the day I bought it. Because you see, the paper seal was ever so lightly lifted from the mouth of the jar, and thus, broken. Now as to whether the screw top lid seal was broken? I don't recall. Silly me. I didn't bother taking it back to the store. I mean, the paper seal could have been broken at the factory itself. Or maybe from the pressure of being shipped to a higher elevation. Or... maybe the jar got really hot and unsealed itself? I don't know.

In any case, I blame it on the almond milk. I'm sure someone or something injected it with a bloating spell so that every time you eat it, your tummy hurts and swells up.

Hahaha.

Ah.

It could just be that my period is a couple days away.

So I'll refrain from the pulverized magical nut for the time being. And will give it another whirl a week or two when my monthly blah blah blah has gone away. :)

I love changing the way I eat based on how I feel. And sleuthing out why or how I am suddenly feeling the way I do.

Speaking of . . .

Oh man, today I had a SODA!

ALL. TO. MYSELF!

I usually mooch off my boyfriends. I order a water when we go to restaurants then I sneak sips when he's not looking. Or I just plain ask him. I'm pretty smart. I don't want a ton of soda, ya know? So this is the way I do. Luckily for me, my boyfriend and I both enjoy diet sodee. When I'm by myself at healthy fast food restaurants though, I just stick with water or tea. I definitely don't mooch off my friend's or family's drinks either. Just my boyfriend's. He's special like that. :)

As remorseful as I feel for stealing soda sips, I still get a kick out of how my boyfriend reacts when he catches me... "Oh?? I see you wanted a drink of my drink, huh??" He has this really absurd, funny face when he asks. It makes me laugh and feel terrible at the same time. I usually end up putting down the drink. Then he says "Naw, [insert my name here], just kidding... It's free refills... You can have A SIP." Of course I end up having more than a sip. Maybe 12 sips...

Ok. Let's get to it. I'm feeling jittery right now and very exhausted. DAMN SODA... and future period!

Today I:

Went to work meeting 40 minutes away, discussed music labels/industry and musician life with co-worker during ride home, hung out with the boyfriend and his cousins, went to Costco for lunch, went to the hookah parlor with boyfriend and his cousins as well, enjoyed a hot chai and chocolate chip cookie while boys did the hookah business, battled choking on my own phlegm most of the day (I'm almost done being sick... Woo!), my boyfriend's cousin got some bad STD news from his ex-girlfriend, his cousin is now worrying profusley and won't talk about anything else, someone finally dropped me back off at home, and now I'm tending to neighbor duties (watering all her flowers, feeding her dog, giving dog medicine, watering both yards... it's fun when all the duties land on the same day, OMGNOTREALLY).

Skin picking? Very very little. Nothing major. Mildly picked a few spots on my face while in the car. Hooray!



To Muh Boyfriend: I know you're gonna read this and you outright asked me to write something about you. But that's insignificant. Because I was gonna write about you anyway! ChYEAH. So I wanted to say... Thanks for hanging out and being so fun and cute! I love it when your cousins and I tried to do a gang-'bang'-hug out in the middle of the Costco parking lot. I don't know what we were talking about. Bi curious people? Incest? I'm not sure how or if we got on those subjects. But you were blushing as we all tried to hug you and come on to you at once in public. I think I'm the one who got everyone to do it because that's just how I am -- I get people to do things. Anyway, of course, you denied that you were blushing and laughing. And it's so cute when you're in denial!! :) Also, good luck on your new job tomorrow!



Well ghosts and crickets whom I cannot even get to read this blog, I gots to go water two more grassy yards for my neighbor. Turn off one set sprinklers. Turn on the next. My dad should help my neighbor set up timered, automatic sprinklers like we have at our house. She might like that?

Anyway, g'night. Not that I'm going to bed anytime soon... probably around 1 or 2am I'll be asleep. Gotta wake up before 6am! Ugh @ you, Mr. Work.

Shrug.

Today was splendid. But don't really feel like blogging tonight. So in summation, today I went to work, worked out, noshed on broccoli, tended to my vacation-loving neighbor's house, fiddled with the piano/keyboard, typed/edited a letter for my co-worker so she could be on tv, made almond milk with almonds, water and a powerful blender, contemplated life, enjoyed some life... etc.

There. Shortest blog yet!

Oh. And then there's the "issue" of . . . . . you know . . .


Dermatillomania.


Well... didn't do any major picking today. Last night though? Let's just say I stayed up too late and zoned out and... skin picking happened. It wasn't life-altering or anything. I do gotta get wit da program tho! I almost did some major damage tonight actually. Not surprising since I drank coffee today. Oops. I'm ever so mildly jittery, but it's enough jitters for my hands to not stop feeling my skin up. Quit it hands! Go paint or something. Jeesh.

Eh, coffee's really no big issue for me. It's only when I sit down and stay stagnant that it becomes an issue... Come to think of it, I did have tea today... maybe it's all the tea's fault?

So I'm feeling bloated right now even though I barely ate anything. I think I drank too much almond milk. By the way, if you ever make your own almond milk, it's a beep and a half to strain. Use a cheese cloth. Straining it takes a while; even so, the cheese cloth has proven to be the fastest way for me. I also do not soak or boil the almonds ahead of time. The expensive blender we have doesn't give a hoot -- it rips right through them almonds with ease. Honey or maple syrup and vanilla are great additives. :)

Um.

I best go to sleep now. I has a meeting tomorrow. Oh mercy, a lot of stuff happened today. Wish I felt like telling you blog, but my blogs are much too too long as it is! And alas, I am tired.

Au revoir.



p.s. No more curse-ed interval cardio for me! I feel like my legs are getting huge. More on why I have come to this conclusion tomorrow? Maybe? *shrug!*

Snot Mountain.

Wowowow.

I have not blogged in three days. Whatsa-matta-wit-me?

Nothing really. I've been 'battling' a cold... or intense allergies... phlegm city. It may have turned into bronchitis by now for all I know. (My mom had bronchitis all last week... nice!) I'm on Sudafed constantly so I'm really not sure. If I'm still exhibiting slight symptoms even while on over-the-counter stuff, who knows how bad my symptoms really are?

I've been congested for the past 5 days actually. Thursday was pretty bad. I woke up choking on phlegm. It was "Snot Mountain Day" as I like to call it. They were thick, white, and my sinuses not stop producing them. Suffice to say, I definitely stopped dairy ALTOGETHER. No smidges of dairy either. I wanted to get rid of this... whatever it is sickness.

I still went to work all this week though despite my mysterious cold. I loved talking to customers in the weirdest voice because of this cold. Random coughing was added in there whenever the customers said anything important. Don't worry though, it was all unstaged -- I really do have a medium cough. But I only cough because I'm choking on phlegm.

Did I tell you about my coughing fit on the bus home? Oh, of course not. I haven't blogged in three centuries. It was all Chloraseptic's fault. The cooling of my sore throat triggered a tickle. That tickle turned into "Oh my God ma'am... Do you need an ambulance??!?"

Just kidding.

No one asked me that. I only had one mile 'til my final stop. And by then, I doused my cough-tickle out with water even though it took like, one entire liter of water to do so. What's that all about?

Well, where am I now 2-3 days later?

At my boyfriend's new place. I'm really not gonna tell you where he lives now. He might be embarrassed? I don't know. I mean, I live in a similar situation. But oh well. His bad luck and these economic times were no help. He'll be fine. He's definitely ventured out farther in life than I have.

Note: My boyfriend spidey-sensed I was typing about him and called out "I'm not embarrassed!" then laughed a hearty genuine laugh. Hmmm, alright then. Everyone: He lives with his mom. But it's only for the summer... Maybe.

Wow, I want breakfast right now.

Oo, wait. This blog is about skin picking / dermatillomania. Shooooot. Did I? I think I did a little. Bump on my arm here, bump on my arm there. May have gone overboard on picking at my chest on Friday. But not life altering overboard. No pain. I'm not letting myself get bored so much. Also, whenever I feel the urge to pick, I've been clenching both of my fists for 10-60 seconds, or breathing slowly and deeply, or thinking positively, or all of the above.

It's working!

My skin picking has been less frequent. Skin picking is so stupid. It's like overeating so that you don't have to face problems or deal with emotions. I would definitely not want to be in a high government position. I would be picking my skin all the bloody time! (No pun intended.)

Hmmm...

Breakfast time. I may come back to continue today's post if anything significant happens.

Bye ;)


p.s. The Hangover... Oh my... AMAZING movie. I feel like I am Zach Galifianakis. No, I'm not a man with a potbelly and Jesus beard, but I've always wondered why my friends call me 'random' and ask 'could you please stick to the subject?'

In summary, my words and statements boggle the mind of most individuals.

:)

Meh.

Today is already a bust in the do-not-pick-your-skin realm.

I picked at my chest a bit. It wasn't a long picking session. It was mild-medium. No injury really. Doesn't mean I don't hate myself for it though. I was just bored after work today. I'm also still feeling sick, congested, and my dogs wouldn't stop barking at me to feed them. Mangy mutts.

So because I'm not feeling well, I feel optimistic yet down on my luck. I received some photos yesterday from my aunt in Lubbock, Texas, of when she visited us at our house in Phoenix, Arizona. I'm like, 3 or 4 in the photos and I'm posing with my parents on our old house's front step. My brother wasn't born yet. In any case, seeing another (although "new") photo of when I was young and how unfreckled/unpicked my skin was makes me sad. Also, seeing a photo of when I was young makes me wish I had focused on becoming a good musician at a younger age. I had the chance, but didn't take it. This totally makes me even sadder. But that's a different story. I can't take the knowledge I know now and apply it to a younger me even if I had some kind of time machine. I'm stuck in my ways and that's that. All I can do is try to be productive using the leftover set of neurotransmitters that permeate whatever interests and habits I continue to have.

Except for that one neurotransmitter that makes picking at my skin seem like a hot commodity. I would LOVE to be rid of that one. Ugh.

But yeah, some days I really despise my age And my freckled/tanned skin. Well, my arms at least. That's really the only tan thing on my body. Everywhere else? Pretty much white. I'm on a mission to find a coat I can wear all year long -- through sweltering summers especially. I want my arms to get as light as the rest of my skin, dammit! Or maybe I should quit walking 2 miles to work in the sun. Blasted sunblock doesn't do shit to prevent tanning. Ok, it kind of works. But it definitely doesn't reverse tanning as good as a jacket or pair of pants do.

Well, there you have it... MY DREAM.

I probably seem like I'm too worried about looking good or being healthy? You can blame my actor's mentality I guess. I gotta tell you though, I was WAY, WAY more obsessed with looking good in high school. I don't wear makeup or worry about my hair anymore. I even dress like a hobo most days I work. Woo! I've slowly freed myself from the realm of outer appearances!

Eh... I take that back.

I haven't totally freed myself entirely. If I completely freed myself from worrying about appearances, I'd have the ugliest teeth on the planet. I like white, cavity-free teeth thank you. And flossing. :)

Have a good evening you's. You's who read this whom I don't know.

I'm gonna go call about a damn car. Wish me luck. Ciao.

Banter.

I'm here, I'm here.

Forgot to blog yesterday.

It's ok though. Nothing really significant happened. I was feeling awesome and sick at the same time. It was weird. Very questionable. I picked at my skin a little -- a little face and arm pickin'. But not a lot. So that's awesome.

Today, despite my probably contagious sore throat from coughing so much, I'm hanging out with my boyfriend. I'm trying to be as silent as I can because he is discussing E3 with his gaming buddies across the USA and England. It will air on a podcast called Entertainment Overload sometime this week. It's available for download on iTunes.

So right now... I'm just blogging, selling stuff on Ebay, and looking for a car on AutoTrader while he's recording for this podcast. They've been talking for 1.5 hours now. He's having fun. He's debating about the new games announced, Paul McCartney's appearance, cracking random jokes, and trying to make me squirm (he can't really keep his hands off my you know whats). Hahaha :)

My boyfriend's friend Justin has so many podcasts he's involved in. It's always nice when he lets my boyfriend join in as a guest 'banter-er'. My boyfriend also does a really good imitation of Aqua Man. His awesome, ridiculous imitation is implemented into the Entertainment Overload podcast, or the Geekland Podcast every once in awhile.

Side note: We went and got Subway, cookies, and Starbuck's 1-hour prior to him having to be present for this podcast recording. Mmmm!

I just wanted to blog about what I ate.

Alright. Think positive. You're beautiful. That's what I'm gonna keep telling myself so I won't have any skin pickin' mishaps the rest of the day.

Also, my boyfriend wants me to type that he is beautiful. So there you go boyfriend. You're beautiful too. And I believe it. (He wanted me to type that, as well.)

Oh Me, Oh My.

I didn't really pick at my skin today. Last night, I went a little crazy by picking at my chest. Grr. I was dehydrated and constipated... what can you expect? I will implement 'my plan/tactics' to conquer this skin picking more fiercely late at night. It prevented me from picking a ton last time, I just didn't use it last night. The sores are there. And they hurt. But that's the price I have to pay for what I did.

And now for a TMI moment:

I woke up this morning at 4am with a different kind of pain. I couldn't sleep and got up out of bed. Saw that my mom was up getting ready for work and so I talked to my her about what I was experiencing. She said it happens to her all the time. She gave me a mild laxative. LOL. I guess I really was constipated... :?

Or it could be kidney stones. That's a possibility... or yeah... whatever else.

End of TMI moment.


Haha!

I went to bed at 1am last night and left for work at 7:20am. That's not really a big deal or anything, but it made me extremely irritable at work even though I'm used to sleeping very little. Weird huh? We got so slammed with morning customers in the short time I was there. I work at a credit union and I was at drive-thru, manning it and manning the front counters. I love running, but I really just felt so pissed at everyone. I was pissed at them for existing and being there (the customers). I started going into panic attack mode, but continued to work and just tried to deal with it as best as I could. Got off work 15 minutes early to make up for staying late this past Saturday. That was nice.

I'm usually really good at handling busy situations. I just don't know what came over me today. I stayed as calm as I could even though I was feeling very 'fight or flight'. I really need to do some more yoga on my days off. I should maybe cut back my intense gym workouts. That may be allotting me too much unfulfilled adrenaline on non-workout days... to the point that I get frustrated easily. I've also cut out soymilk for the time being. I think I may have overdone that.

After work, went to Fresh & Easy to get some veggies, fruits, almonds, and I forget what else. Fresh & Easy wasn't very busy. I think I was able to calm down because of that. At the food sample counter, I talked with a lady who moved here from Scranton, Pennsylvania. She's never heard of or seen The Office. I explained the show to her and its English origin as well as the various international versions out there. She said she couldn't imagine why there would be a hit show based on Scranton -- "It's so dirty there" But that's not all we talked about, the subject of The Office and Dirtville only lasted a minute or two.

Anyway... that store and the weather really helped calm down my anxiety post-work. The weather was breezy and nice even though it was barely under 100 degrees. It was crazy and awesome yo.

Well, enough boring blog stuff. I really think my blogs are getting boring or were boring to begin with. I need to post like, songs and poems on here that I've created. Or something. I'm just really glad very few people read this. And I mean, it's not like it's my official blog. It's my 'I have a serious problem and I'm trying to overcome it' blog. Hence the reason there are very few photos on here. Hmmm... maybe I'll post some someday -- not of dermatillomania... but just funny stuff from my day. It might make me feel better and help me overcome this OCD faster? Maybe...

Ok. It's brownies time. The oven is ringing, telling me they're done. I wanna get to sleep early tonight, hit the gym tomorrow, edit some photos, read about improv, read some plays, conquer overdue chores, play music... it's my day off! Oo baby!

T-minus 4 days until I have to start watching my neighbors house for a month -- watering her gazillion plants, feeding her dog, giving him his medicine, and what not.

Umm... yay?

Well, her backyard is pretty at least. :)