Today was chill and rambunctious...
Spent the night at my boyfriend's so, naturally, I was there when I woke up. We ate breakfast/lunch at Wildflower Bread Company, then watched a movie together, then I went home.
I felt huge today. I should stop running on the treadmill. My legs are getting much too muscular and inflated. Not to mention my already huge ass as well. I wanna be able to fit in my skinny jeans, so I better stop. Eek.
A little skin picking today. Nothing major. I don't think there will be days where I will be completely void of skin picking even just one little pimple or bump. Everyone does it. I even saw my boyfriend picking at in grown hairs. Everyone picks once in awhile. But some of us get obsessed.
My dad just came in my room to talk to me. Now I'm feeling negative about myself even though what he said was about my computer. His voice bothers me. He makes everyone feel like crap. Hahahaha. Ohhh, I'm feeling very irritable now. He has this yelling, matter of fact kind of voice. And he's always trying to persuade people... ALWAYS. Trying to get them to do this, and do that. He's got a salesman mentality because of his small business. So annoying. He's always asking our opinions as if he's not confident and needs to rely on people. He ends everything he says with "...right??"
I know he's ultra smart though, so it really bugs me. He tries to get our opinions just so he can turn it around on us later and blame us for something he did. It never fails. He's always looking for his next scapegoat.
Well... anywho.
I'm gonna go drink some green tea and stop drinking soy for awhile. I'm gonna drink more water too. I already drink a liter or two a day, but I'm gonna up that shit to more water liters.
Night night.
p.s. Work is short tomorrow! Then... yoga time!!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
?
I didn't blog yesterday. Oh well. It's not a crime. I just didn't feel like it. :)
Ummmm uh numma numm...
Went to work. Stayed an hour after because some customer lady didn't know what she was doing. I did 5 separate receipts for her. Did I mention I work at a credit union. Doing 5 receipts for one person is a big flipping deal. She said she's gonna come back until her credit union has their shared branching system working again. Really, lady? Not if you're gonna come 3 minutes before we close and keep us there for 1 hour. I will literally spray you in the face with mase.
So the rest of the day included working out, setting up my new monitor so that I could give back the one my brother was lending me. New computer still isn't set up though. Gotta find a way to get all the files on this computer to the new one. I'm only keeping the bare minimum, mostly photos, but it's still many many gigs. My dad keeps telling me he's gonna the terabyte servers setup so that I can transfer my files to them from my old computer as a temporary safe holding place. But my dad runs a business and he never does what he says he's gonna do... This week though.. for sure... new computer will be setup. I am loving this new monitor that takes up most of my desk though. It's huge.
So hung out with my boytoy later. It was fun. Scrounging for cheap food late at night, then watching old Mythbusters on Tivo. For food, Taco Bell won out. I got meatless burritos. Yum.
Um... yeah...
That's it!
And about the skin picking thing... I really don't recall if I did? If so, it was just minimal picking of the arms. Very minimal. And I know this because my skin is not in any major pain. Awesome!
Ummmm uh numma numm...
Went to work. Stayed an hour after because some customer lady didn't know what she was doing. I did 5 separate receipts for her. Did I mention I work at a credit union. Doing 5 receipts for one person is a big flipping deal. She said she's gonna come back until her credit union has their shared branching system working again. Really, lady? Not if you're gonna come 3 minutes before we close and keep us there for 1 hour. I will literally spray you in the face with mase.
So the rest of the day included working out, setting up my new monitor so that I could give back the one my brother was lending me. New computer still isn't set up though. Gotta find a way to get all the files on this computer to the new one. I'm only keeping the bare minimum, mostly photos, but it's still many many gigs. My dad keeps telling me he's gonna the terabyte servers setup so that I can transfer my files to them from my old computer as a temporary safe holding place. But my dad runs a business and he never does what he says he's gonna do... This week though.. for sure... new computer will be setup. I am loving this new monitor that takes up most of my desk though. It's huge.
So hung out with my boytoy later. It was fun. Scrounging for cheap food late at night, then watching old Mythbusters on Tivo. For food, Taco Bell won out. I got meatless burritos. Yum.
Um... yeah...
That's it!
And about the skin picking thing... I really don't recall if I did? If so, it was just minimal picking of the arms. Very minimal. And I know this because my skin is not in any major pain. Awesome!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Pistachio.
The day started out great and positive, but by the end, I was tired of hearing complaining/ungrateful customers after a 9 hour work day. I was tired of running around as well, trying my hardest to be there and please everyone. Then to top it all off, my dad and brother really set me off. Being blamed for a choice your sibling made is VERY bothersome. Having a scattered, forgetful dad is terrible as well. Then to have your mom talk to you, belittling you after getting dad's side of the story (the wrong side, of course; my dad is too scatter-brained to tell an accurate story) makes me even sadder.
Needless to say... by the end of the work day, I was hyperventilating, feeling tingly and dizzy, trying to hold back tears though they still came streaming out -- And embarrassingly enough, while on the phone with my boyfriend telling him he's not allowed to attend my cousin's graduation party afterall per my dad's orders. (There's way more to the story than that... it's so deep in irony and mischief it's crazy, but I won't go into it. It's just stupid and pointless when it all comes down to it. Causing someone to cry over it was not necessary. There was a simple solution, but my dad was not smart enough to listen to anyone of us. And he pushed the issue further.)
Anyway, went to my cousin's reception at her and my other cousin's house. It was cool. Lots of fresh fruit and salad and desserts (my other cousin's pistachio-ice-cream-oreo-crust-square-thingys were delish). And there was also... lots of meat. Chicken breasts, hamburgers, but I had none o' that! Yuck. I was surprised to find out the cousin who graduated last night only eats chicken and fish once in awhile -- no beef. And I think she said she tried to become a vegetarian? Ah, I forget. But that was still cool to find out.
These cousin's I had not seen in a few years actually. It was nice to visit with them. But oh man, I do wish I were 18 again. Or 21. They were all surprised to hear I was 24. They thought I was 21. Haha. Embarrassing. I wish I could go back. I shouldn't dwell on it though. It's tends to get me into a depressive state.
I'm amazed that with how emotional the day was and how much coffee I drank (8 ounces at most), I didn't outright attack my skin. I did start picking my skin a little little bit, however, as we were leaving my cousin's house. I'm pretty sure it was out of boredom and tiredness. And the fact that my dad and his cousin would not stop talking. I'm all for talking awhile, but not when people have to get up early for work!!
Oh...
My parents also mentioned to everyone that I still don't have a car. That also made me feel quite embarrassed. And maybe even 'uncool'. My brother didn't attend this reception thing because he was hanging with his girlfriend, but my parents were quick to mention how he is younger than me (which they know already, duh) AND has a car. My parents also mentioned the fact that they were willing to help him look for a car, but not me...
Are you trying to make me sad again? I just got over the panic attack you gave me earlier, you ninnies.
Toward the end of the night, things just got a little more embarrassing by the moment. If you really want to make me sad/mad/embarrassed just mention how I suck at life, then you'll really sock it to me. I'm such a low life. I should just... not exist? That's how I feel. I don't know why I'm here on earth. I'm always pondering that question like an ugly doofus...
Well, gotta get up early for work again. Goodnight.
Needless to say... by the end of the work day, I was hyperventilating, feeling tingly and dizzy, trying to hold back tears though they still came streaming out -- And embarrassingly enough, while on the phone with my boyfriend telling him he's not allowed to attend my cousin's graduation party afterall per my dad's orders. (There's way more to the story than that... it's so deep in irony and mischief it's crazy, but I won't go into it. It's just stupid and pointless when it all comes down to it. Causing someone to cry over it was not necessary. There was a simple solution, but my dad was not smart enough to listen to anyone of us. And he pushed the issue further.)
Anyway, went to my cousin's reception at her and my other cousin's house. It was cool. Lots of fresh fruit and salad and desserts (my other cousin's pistachio-ice-cream-oreo-crust-square-thingys were delish). And there was also... lots of meat. Chicken breasts, hamburgers, but I had none o' that! Yuck. I was surprised to find out the cousin who graduated last night only eats chicken and fish once in awhile -- no beef. And I think she said she tried to become a vegetarian? Ah, I forget. But that was still cool to find out.
These cousin's I had not seen in a few years actually. It was nice to visit with them. But oh man, I do wish I were 18 again. Or 21. They were all surprised to hear I was 24. They thought I was 21. Haha. Embarrassing. I wish I could go back. I shouldn't dwell on it though. It's tends to get me into a depressive state.
I'm amazed that with how emotional the day was and how much coffee I drank (8 ounces at most), I didn't outright attack my skin. I did start picking my skin a little little bit, however, as we were leaving my cousin's house. I'm pretty sure it was out of boredom and tiredness. And the fact that my dad and his cousin would not stop talking. I'm all for talking awhile, but not when people have to get up early for work!!
Oh...
My parents also mentioned to everyone that I still don't have a car. That also made me feel quite embarrassed. And maybe even 'uncool'. My brother didn't attend this reception thing because he was hanging with his girlfriend, but my parents were quick to mention how he is younger than me (which they know already, duh) AND has a car. My parents also mentioned the fact that they were willing to help him look for a car, but not me...
Are you trying to make me sad again? I just got over the panic attack you gave me earlier, you ninnies.
Toward the end of the night, things just got a little more embarrassing by the moment. If you really want to make me sad/mad/embarrassed just mention how I suck at life, then you'll really sock it to me. I'm such a low life. I should just... not exist? That's how I feel. I don't know why I'm here on earth. I'm always pondering that question like an ugly doofus...
Well, gotta get up early for work again. Goodnight.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Pomp n' Circumstance.
I felt fantastic today! Then by late afternoon I only felt kind of fantastic. Still, yesterday's workout did wonders for me to be feeling so good today! Oh, and maybe because I had today off from work. That might have something to do with it...
I kind of messed with my skin today. It's really hard not to. My skin is acting weird. Breaking out kind of. It's bothering the hell outta me. No major skin picking sessions though. I just gotta not think about my skin, how it's um, oilier than normal? Kinda sorta. Slightly oily-ish. I gotta get over it. Because picking only makes it more noticeable. Yeah? YES...
I did DDR today. Loved it. I didn't hit the gym, so that's what I ended up doing for maybe 50 minutes or so. Attended my cousin's graduation, ate a late dinner after with my dad and brother. My dad and brother were the only one's at the graduation. My mom still has bronchitis. :(
The graduation was pretty cool. Lots of speeches. But it was quaint. It's a Catholic school/church so it was held inside where, well, church service would be held. Haha, yeah, THAT place. Only 50 students graduated. Whoa? I'm used to 800-900 student graduations and being outside in the stadium bleachers (or sitting on the field as a graduate) and being heavily rained upon, or... dust stormed upon. So it was a nice change.
The students had the titles of their thesis' in the program booklet thingy. The titles were pretty hilarious and also eye-opening even without reading their actual thesis papers.
Alright, work is a long one tomorrow. 9 hours. It's really not that long, but yet it so IS. We're gonna be busy. Silly Friday's (the day, not the restaurant TGIFriday's). :)
My cousin's graduation reception is tomorrow night so I'm sure I'll be attending that after work with my brother and dad. My mom probably won't be there... unless she feels better? I doubt it. She's been sick for almost a week now. Poor gal.
I'm gonna read myself to sleep. Then tomorrow, I'm gonna sneak some reading in at work even though it's totally illegal there. Just gotta steer clear of the cameras? Wish me success?
Buh-bye puddin' pop.
I kind of messed with my skin today. It's really hard not to. My skin is acting weird. Breaking out kind of. It's bothering the hell outta me. No major skin picking sessions though. I just gotta not think about my skin, how it's um, oilier than normal? Kinda sorta. Slightly oily-ish. I gotta get over it. Because picking only makes it more noticeable. Yeah? YES...
I did DDR today. Loved it. I didn't hit the gym, so that's what I ended up doing for maybe 50 minutes or so. Attended my cousin's graduation, ate a late dinner after with my dad and brother. My dad and brother were the only one's at the graduation. My mom still has bronchitis. :(
The graduation was pretty cool. Lots of speeches. But it was quaint. It's a Catholic school/church so it was held inside where, well, church service would be held. Haha, yeah, THAT place. Only 50 students graduated. Whoa? I'm used to 800-900 student graduations and being outside in the stadium bleachers (or sitting on the field as a graduate) and being heavily rained upon, or... dust stormed upon. So it was a nice change.
The students had the titles of their thesis' in the program booklet thingy. The titles were pretty hilarious and also eye-opening even without reading their actual thesis papers.
Alright, work is a long one tomorrow. 9 hours. It's really not that long, but yet it so IS. We're gonna be busy. Silly Friday's (the day, not the restaurant TGIFriday's). :)
My cousin's graduation reception is tomorrow night so I'm sure I'll be attending that after work with my brother and dad. My mom probably won't be there... unless she feels better? I doubt it. She's been sick for almost a week now. Poor gal.
I'm gonna read myself to sleep. Then tomorrow, I'm gonna sneak some reading in at work even though it's totally illegal there. Just gotta steer clear of the cameras? Wish me success?
Buh-bye puddin' pop.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Long (Life's) Journey.
Not much skin pickin' happened today, but last night... YEAH. I picked at the place I really, really, really do not want to be picking at. I stayed up too late, zoned out, and thus, ended up picking. I failed to grab my stress ball or anything else (my rain coat/poncho bundled in its little pouch would have sufficed, earth to me!). I couldn't seem to turn away from 'doing the unnecessary' and hurting my skin. Ugh. I was in the skin picking zone... The worst place to be... Don't ever be there!
I didn't do much damage though. I will say that. THANK THE LORD. It's fine. It's perfectly fine. I can still get back on track and conquer this OCD shit... and bury its remains in Captain Hook's dumpster somewhere in Neverland (if they have those there).
Today was pretty great. Work was alright. I brought everyone biscotti I had made. Gingerbread biscotti. They loved it. I'm hoping some of my co-workers will order some. I'm thinking they might...
After work, I had the best workout I've ever had in a long, long time (even though I workout like, everyday). I did run/speed walk intervals on the treadmill for 25 minutes, then cycling for 5 minutes as a cool down (um, more like a super fast, top speed, I can't control my legs cardio cool down...). Then I lifted weights. I did some few upper body work moves, but it was fairly intense. I lift everytime I visit the gym, but today I think I may have tried harder... ? Or was just killing time before my pilates class started.
Yup, (mostly) just killing time. The time slot for my pilates class arrived pretty swiftly.
Pilates was great today. Haven't done an actual pilates class in awhile. I've been focusing on yoga classes and DVDs a lot lately. Although I do encompass a few pilates moves in my day-to-day activities. For example, before work starts, I'm doing pilates outside on the cement while waiting for the manager to arrive and unlock the damn place, or in the breakroom where people alsmost trip over me or ask why I care about my appearance so much. I do all this so that I can feel aligned and ready to kickass at work, OK?? HIIIIIIII YA! <--- (my attempt at what ninjas say right before they kick someone in the face... except it's while I'm at work and after I do that pilates-muh-jig)
Went to the library. Got some books. About acting. Yes. And a play. Yes.
I've been feeling so nervous lately. I think I've made a choice in my life and I'm really not used to making big choices. So I feel uneasy. Because underneath my choice, I'm still not sure about it. Ugh. That's the fun in life though... not being sure about anything, any path you are choosing to embark upon. It makes human existance FUN.
Well... le sigh.
I'm gonna go drink a homemade iced soy chai latte. I'm almost done making it. I stopped making it to type this blog. Ack, why did I do that??? Silly me. I'm craving one SO bad!
Um, oh yeah...
I'm must mention that I'm gonna go to my cousin's high school graduation tomorrow night since I felt downright TERRIBLE for missing her pre-graduation/birthday party. (Her birthday is exactly 1 month away... I didn't understand why she would combine the two. To save money? Haha, that's a good enough explanation for me. I still didn't attend.) She went to a Catholic school. I'm sure she'll be happy not to have to wear uniforms anymore. do Catholic university's require uniforms? That would totally be Sucksville.
Ok ok.
Chilly Chai + Addict Me = Now!
Mmmmm...
Toodle-loo.
p.s. My three Weimaraner dogs got into my mom's Vitamin E oil tonight. It was sitting on her desk. They ate it ALL. Lapped up every last bit of it.
I really wish I worked tomorrow. Those dogs are gonna be puking until hell freezes over. Pure breeds... Extremely sensitive stomachs... *sigh*
I didn't do much damage though. I will say that. THANK THE LORD. It's fine. It's perfectly fine. I can still get back on track and conquer this OCD shit... and bury its remains in Captain Hook's dumpster somewhere in Neverland (if they have those there).
Today was pretty great. Work was alright. I brought everyone biscotti I had made. Gingerbread biscotti. They loved it. I'm hoping some of my co-workers will order some. I'm thinking they might...
After work, I had the best workout I've ever had in a long, long time (even though I workout like, everyday). I did run/speed walk intervals on the treadmill for 25 minutes, then cycling for 5 minutes as a cool down (um, more like a super fast, top speed, I can't control my legs cardio cool down...). Then I lifted weights. I did some few upper body work moves, but it was fairly intense. I lift everytime I visit the gym, but today I think I may have tried harder... ? Or was just killing time before my pilates class started.
Yup, (mostly) just killing time. The time slot for my pilates class arrived pretty swiftly.
Pilates was great today. Haven't done an actual pilates class in awhile. I've been focusing on yoga classes and DVDs a lot lately. Although I do encompass a few pilates moves in my day-to-day activities. For example, before work starts, I'm doing pilates outside on the cement while waiting for the manager to arrive and unlock the damn place, or in the breakroom where people alsmost trip over me or ask why I care about my appearance so much. I do all this so that I can feel aligned and ready to kickass at work, OK?? HIIIIIIII YA! <--- (my attempt at what ninjas say right before they kick someone in the face... except it's while I'm at work and after I do that pilates-muh-jig)
Went to the library. Got some books. About acting. Yes. And a play. Yes.
I've been feeling so nervous lately. I think I've made a choice in my life and I'm really not used to making big choices. So I feel uneasy. Because underneath my choice, I'm still not sure about it. Ugh. That's the fun in life though... not being sure about anything, any path you are choosing to embark upon. It makes human existance FUN.
Well... le sigh.
I'm gonna go drink a homemade iced soy chai latte. I'm almost done making it. I stopped making it to type this blog. Ack, why did I do that??? Silly me. I'm craving one SO bad!
Um, oh yeah...
I'm must mention that I'm gonna go to my cousin's high school graduation tomorrow night since I felt downright TERRIBLE for missing her pre-graduation/birthday party. (Her birthday is exactly 1 month away... I didn't understand why she would combine the two. To save money? Haha, that's a good enough explanation for me. I still didn't attend.) She went to a Catholic school. I'm sure she'll be happy not to have to wear uniforms anymore. do Catholic university's require uniforms? That would totally be Sucksville.
Ok ok.
Chilly Chai + Addict Me = Now!
Mmmmm...
Toodle-loo.
p.s. My three Weimaraner dogs got into my mom's Vitamin E oil tonight. It was sitting on her desk. They ate it ALL. Lapped up every last bit of it.
I really wish I worked tomorrow. Those dogs are gonna be puking until hell freezes over. Pure breeds... Extremely sensitive stomachs... *sigh*
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Madame Blogscelot.
Mmmmhmm!
Today was good:
a) I hardly picked at my skin... though I seem to have broken out a little on my shoulders and it bothers the hell outta me... (perfectionist much? ch-YEAH.)
b) I felt uber positive all day...
c) Work was shorty, sweety, and breezy...
d) Worked out...
e) Went to the public library... checked out some acting related books... Stanislavsky... Improv... I just wanna go more in depth with these this summer... more in depth than what I've already learned...
f) A particular person's biscotti order is finally gonna be delivered tomorrow. I'm using a middle-man (ahem, my boyfriend) to get it to them. The order is for his auntie. :)
Today's not so goods:
a) My coworker's husband was robbed by some Mexicans at a truck stop on his way to Wisconsin. He used to be a truck driver (hence the stop at a truck stop). He took a nap in his parked SUV at the truck stop and woke up to a gun in his back. They just took all his money and threw his wallet in a field. That's all.
b) My boyfriend's poor car is undriveable. His tire suddenly got a flat. That means no more hanging out for awhile. I can deal. Or I may just end up lending him more money to fix it.
Ok. So those 'not so goods' really aren't that terrible. They are scary though. Eh. I just wanted to mention them to make this blog... more... entertaining? Things could be and are worse out there... I don't even want to imagine... because I can very easily imagine the terribleness. :/
On another note, I may do a biscotti order for someone's wedding. Woo!? An old co-worker of mine's weddin'. Although I find cooking sweet treats monotonous sometimes and I just want it to end and I feel like I can't go on... Doing this biscotti order would still be fantastic. I especially can't wait to dress 'em up all purdy... :P
Alright so, I just had some green tea and I'm about to go to bed extra early. I don't think I can do it. I'll probably lie in bed for a good hour or two before falling asleep. I best do some yoga, super fast sit-ups, DDR, or a full-out 1,000 yard dash through the neighborhood! And give everyone in the world the chance to kidnap me. But who would want lil' ol' me? Bleh. It's times like these I wish I had a good book to read. I miss you, Harry Flower Potter...
I know very few read this blog... but anyone have any good book suggestions?
Fiction preferred. I wanna escape reality. I don't think improv or Stanislavski books will cut it. I should read some more Shakespeare I guess.
I still have a headache too. Is my Tylenol expired? *checks bottle*
...No, it's fricking brand new.
Chica-whuhhh??
Sleep tight.
Today was good:
a) I hardly picked at my skin... though I seem to have broken out a little on my shoulders and it bothers the hell outta me... (perfectionist much? ch-YEAH.)
b) I felt uber positive all day...
c) Work was shorty, sweety, and breezy...
d) Worked out...
e) Went to the public library... checked out some acting related books... Stanislavsky... Improv... I just wanna go more in depth with these this summer... more in depth than what I've already learned...
f) A particular person's biscotti order is finally gonna be delivered tomorrow. I'm using a middle-man (ahem, my boyfriend) to get it to them. The order is for his auntie. :)
Today's not so goods:
a) My coworker's husband was robbed by some Mexicans at a truck stop on his way to Wisconsin. He used to be a truck driver (hence the stop at a truck stop). He took a nap in his parked SUV at the truck stop and woke up to a gun in his back. They just took all his money and threw his wallet in a field. That's all.
b) My boyfriend's poor car is undriveable. His tire suddenly got a flat. That means no more hanging out for awhile. I can deal. Or I may just end up lending him more money to fix it.
Ok. So those 'not so goods' really aren't that terrible. They are scary though. Eh. I just wanted to mention them to make this blog... more... entertaining? Things could be and are worse out there... I don't even want to imagine... because I can very easily imagine the terribleness. :/
On another note, I may do a biscotti order for someone's wedding. Woo!? An old co-worker of mine's weddin'. Although I find cooking sweet treats monotonous sometimes and I just want it to end and I feel like I can't go on... Doing this biscotti order would still be fantastic. I especially can't wait to dress 'em up all purdy... :P
Alright so, I just had some green tea and I'm about to go to bed extra early. I don't think I can do it. I'll probably lie in bed for a good hour or two before falling asleep. I best do some yoga, super fast sit-ups, DDR, or a full-out 1,000 yard dash through the neighborhood! And give everyone in the world the chance to kidnap me. But who would want lil' ol' me? Bleh. It's times like these I wish I had a good book to read. I miss you, Harry Flower Potter...
I know very few read this blog... but anyone have any good book suggestions?
Fiction preferred. I wanna escape reality. I don't think improv or Stanislavski books will cut it. I should read some more Shakespeare I guess.
I still have a headache too. Is my Tylenol expired? *checks bottle*
...No, it's fricking brand new.
Chica-whuhhh??
Sleep tight.
Monday, May 25, 2009
McOven.
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY...
Today was cool. It took me almost all day to make 4 to 5 dozen biscotti. But it was still... fun? Even though I felt like a cow while having fun making these things that I make so often for people. I finally got this particular person's order 'done'... and I'm SO happy! Just gotta wrap 'em up all pretty and I can call it officially DONE! :)
I also keep getting re-interested in acting. I noticed that as I trudged around the 'biscotti kitchen' and house. I still have a lot of interest in a vast array of hobbies -- musicactingphotographydrawingculinaryartsandeverytinginbetweenetc. But something I saw today got me interesting in acting all over again... I think I wanna take it more seriously than I have been? And... I want to be in a band? Oh scotty, I will never get anywhere in life at this rate...
Anyway, hmm, yeah. What am I to do about that? It's hard to immerse myself in any one thing without getting bored with it and becoming re-interested in another hobby a week later. *nervous laughter*
Welll...
Moving on...
How's my skin? I done good TODAY, very little picking. But not last night. Last nightI kinda did some bad stuff to skin... more pointless picking. Ugh. After my mindless skin picking session though, I searched some videos on what I have (dermatillomania). Although very few videos came up (when they did, they were video diary bloggish type videos, or too disgusting to watch), I did see a few national videos on trichotillomania (compulsive pulling of one's hair). ABC News did a national story about it. It was interesting. And it made me SO glad I don't suffer from trichotillomania. Agh. It's crazy how common all these OCD disorders are. More common than anyone would think.
Oh and I heard a satellite channel was doing a special on trichotillomania this weekend or week... So that's cool. I wonder if any TV station will ever do a special on dermatillomania?
Haha, while making biscotti... I pondered what kind of blog I was gonna type tonight. Something a little more eye opening and analytical about my skin picking. I mean, this is a blog ABOUT skin picking, yet I only mention a few words about it before I'm onto other things that went on in my day. I don't consider this to be a blog blog; just a side blog that I want very few people to read or know about. But I gotta say... I've never really talked about what triggered and landed me in this personal war with dermatillomania...
Oh well, I'll save it for another night.
Gotta wake up early burly for work! (Bleh.)
Peace and love and harmony to anyone who reads this.
Night. :)
Today was cool. It took me almost all day to make 4 to 5 dozen biscotti. But it was still... fun? Even though I felt like a cow while having fun making these things that I make so often for people. I finally got this particular person's order 'done'... and I'm SO happy! Just gotta wrap 'em up all pretty and I can call it officially DONE! :)
I also keep getting re-interested in acting. I noticed that as I trudged around the 'biscotti kitchen' and house. I still have a lot of interest in a vast array of hobbies -- musicactingphotographydrawingculinaryartsandeverytinginbetweenetc. But something I saw today got me interesting in acting all over again... I think I wanna take it more seriously than I have been? And... I want to be in a band? Oh scotty, I will never get anywhere in life at this rate...
Anyway, hmm, yeah. What am I to do about that? It's hard to immerse myself in any one thing without getting bored with it and becoming re-interested in another hobby a week later. *nervous laughter*
Welll...
Moving on...
How's my skin? I done good TODAY, very little picking. But not last night. Last nightI kinda did some bad stuff to skin... more pointless picking. Ugh. After my mindless skin picking session though, I searched some videos on what I have (dermatillomania). Although very few videos came up (when they did, they were video diary bloggish type videos, or too disgusting to watch), I did see a few national videos on trichotillomania (compulsive pulling of one's hair). ABC News did a national story about it. It was interesting. And it made me SO glad I don't suffer from trichotillomania. Agh. It's crazy how common all these OCD disorders are. More common than anyone would think.
Oh and I heard a satellite channel was doing a special on trichotillomania this weekend or week... So that's cool. I wonder if any TV station will ever do a special on dermatillomania?
Haha, while making biscotti... I pondered what kind of blog I was gonna type tonight. Something a little more eye opening and analytical about my skin picking. I mean, this is a blog ABOUT skin picking, yet I only mention a few words about it before I'm onto other things that went on in my day. I don't consider this to be a blog blog; just a side blog that I want very few people to read or know about. But I gotta say... I've never really talked about what triggered and landed me in this personal war with dermatillomania...
Oh well, I'll save it for another night.
Gotta wake up early burly for work! (Bleh.)
Peace and love and harmony to anyone who reads this.
Night. :)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Clams.
I didn't really pick at my skin today. Or if I did pick at my skin, I don't remember.
Today I hung out with my boyfriend. Helped him trick a tricky stork into being photographed. It (and it's other storky friend) were at the park we were at. My boy would attempt to get close by the park's lake to take a photo of it, but it would fly away to a rock in the middle of the lake. And then it would fly back to shore somewhere far away from us. We did a lot of walking around 'til at last I was like "Hey Mr. Boyfriend, you stay here on this side and I'll go over to try and scare it into flying across the lake toward you..."
It kind of worked. He got a pretty ok photo. Though it seemed the stork was letting me get closer to it than my boyfriend... maybe I could have captured the stork's close up more clearly?
Which reminds me... Today, we were supposed to go on a day trip to Bear Canyon Lake in the White Mountains of eastern Arizona today with my dad, my brother, and our three Weimaraners. They went, but my boyfriend and I decided not to go for whatever reason. It's ok. Next time my dad goes, we'll go with him... and we'll get tons of kickass photos too.
Oh man, that also reminds me... Last night was funzers. Hung out with my boyfriend (again), and ate at Island's (my boy's new favorite burger joint and my new, other veggie burger joint...). After that, hung out with his mom's little Schitzu named Sweet Pea. Took that little dog to Petsmart, then for 1-2 mile walk in the park. I walked 4 miles yesterday, plus worked out at the gym. That's typical for me actually. Seeing as how I walk to work and stuff.
Dude, I gotta do something more with my life than just workout. Haha!
Hmmm...
After blogging yesterday, I picked at a few more 'things' on my skin. My boyfriend said he expected me to blog about it since he saw me doing the picking and kept slapping my hand away. I love him for that. :) I also love attempting to continue picking at my skin even though he's holding onto my hands for dear life to stop me. I'm a taunter, I guess. I like challenging people just to see their reactions.
Ummm... Anyweir... I'm not feeling so good tonight. I think I got too much sun in the park earlier during the 'stork photoshoot.' I feel really clammy. My mom is in the other room coughing her head off. I think her meds are making her immune system weak. But that's what meds do. No surprise there. Her meds are for something... I forget... something to do with her toe or foot I think. She had surgery on her toe or foot -- in addition to the two others to fuse her severed knee cap back together. Gee whiz.
Well, I hope to finish a particular someone's biscotti order tomorrow. Hope this clammy/sick feeling goes away. It's probably the dramatic change in weather. Silly summer weather, you crack me up in a boring, depressing-ish sorta way.
Ciao.
Today I hung out with my boyfriend. Helped him trick a tricky stork into being photographed. It (and it's other storky friend) were at the park we were at. My boy would attempt to get close by the park's lake to take a photo of it, but it would fly away to a rock in the middle of the lake. And then it would fly back to shore somewhere far away from us. We did a lot of walking around 'til at last I was like "Hey Mr. Boyfriend, you stay here on this side and I'll go over to try and scare it into flying across the lake toward you..."
It kind of worked. He got a pretty ok photo. Though it seemed the stork was letting me get closer to it than my boyfriend... maybe I could have captured the stork's close up more clearly?
Which reminds me... Today, we were supposed to go on a day trip to Bear Canyon Lake in the White Mountains of eastern Arizona today with my dad, my brother, and our three Weimaraners. They went, but my boyfriend and I decided not to go for whatever reason. It's ok. Next time my dad goes, we'll go with him... and we'll get tons of kickass photos too.
Oh man, that also reminds me... Last night was funzers. Hung out with my boyfriend (again), and ate at Island's (my boy's new favorite burger joint and my new, other veggie burger joint...). After that, hung out with his mom's little Schitzu named Sweet Pea. Took that little dog to Petsmart, then for 1-2 mile walk in the park. I walked 4 miles yesterday, plus worked out at the gym. That's typical for me actually. Seeing as how I walk to work and stuff.
Dude, I gotta do something more with my life than just workout. Haha!
Hmmm...
After blogging yesterday, I picked at a few more 'things' on my skin. My boyfriend said he expected me to blog about it since he saw me doing the picking and kept slapping my hand away. I love him for that. :) I also love attempting to continue picking at my skin even though he's holding onto my hands for dear life to stop me. I'm a taunter, I guess. I like challenging people just to see their reactions.
Ummm... Anyweir... I'm not feeling so good tonight. I think I got too much sun in the park earlier during the 'stork photoshoot.' I feel really clammy. My mom is in the other room coughing her head off. I think her meds are making her immune system weak. But that's what meds do. No surprise there. Her meds are for something... I forget... something to do with her toe or foot I think. She had surgery on her toe or foot -- in addition to the two others to fuse her severed knee cap back together. Gee whiz.
Well, I hope to finish a particular someone's biscotti order tomorrow. Hope this clammy/sick feeling goes away. It's probably the dramatic change in weather. Silly summer weather, you crack me up in a boring, depressing-ish sorta way.
Ciao.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Sudoku Stress.
Walked a mile to work today, worked, did some sudoku when it wasn't busy, then worked out at the gym after work. Then walked a mile to my bus stop, took the bus, then walked the little street to my house.
Today was pretty breezy. Though I do feel bloated again. And as far as my skin goes... I kind of ruined my streak. I did some skin picking damage when I got home just now. But I am pretty happy that there are more and more days in between the major skin picking episodes than when I first started this blog. I know I am improving.
We'll see how the rest of the day goes . . . ?
Today was pretty breezy. Though I do feel bloated again. And as far as my skin goes... I kind of ruined my streak. I did some skin picking damage when I got home just now. But I am pretty happy that there are more and more days in between the major skin picking episodes than when I first started this blog. I know I am improving.
We'll see how the rest of the day goes . . . ?
Friday, May 22, 2009
Reused.
I have some pretty exciting news...
Ready for it?!
I can honestly, whole-heartedly say I only picked my skin a total of 3 times today!
That means I picked at 3 minor bumps, pimples, etc. for a few seconds at a time, then stopped.
Woo!!
No wonder though. No wonder I didn't pick much... Work was so busy and swamped. I drank too much work brewed coffee in my 'reusable' Starbuck's cup (from when I went there yesterday... sick I know) prior to it being swamped too. I shouldn't have drank any at all. I was feeling pretty impatient and short with people... but what can you do when there's a big line of customers? You can't stand and chitchat forever. You gotta get them out the door as efficiently as possible. And that's all these customers seem to want to do... chat.
The coffee did make me work faster though I felt like a maniac whenever I finally sat down. Luckily, I didn't have to sit down for too long before 30 people were in line again. Is it just where I live that customers seems to show up all at once and then ask us why it's so busy? When there isn't a line, they have a laugh at us because of how 'library-ish' our building is, even if there was a rush of customers prior to them showing up. Sillies.
Sigh, I'm really sad we're not allowed to read books at work. I just found that out today. Can we draw? Doodle? Probably not. There are cameras in most places. And higher ups overseeing and analyzing all of us. We have to read literature from work. I would be pretty thrilled if my work put out a book actually...
Anyway, I don't have much else to say. Except for that... I had a really good workout tonight. I'm feeling so much better now that I've stopped eating terrible things like yogurt (even though it's good for you... whuh?). I'm a little lactose intolerant, but you probably figured that out somewhere in this blog, or wherever else. I really think there is an affiliation between dairy, meat, and weight gain. I know people who eaten a little bit less of those two things, and they feel like they have much more energy and they've gotten leaner. It's pretty amazing.
Hmm... gotta go eat something for dinner now, or go to sleep, or both. The weather is still really quiet looking, cloudy, and beautiful. Today felt like my state wasn't landlocked and there was a beach around... like we were near San Francisco... so nice.
Bye bye!
Ready for it?!
I can honestly, whole-heartedly say I only picked my skin a total of 3 times today!
That means I picked at 3 minor bumps, pimples, etc. for a few seconds at a time, then stopped.
Woo!!
No wonder though. No wonder I didn't pick much... Work was so busy and swamped. I drank too much work brewed coffee in my 'reusable' Starbuck's cup (from when I went there yesterday... sick I know) prior to it being swamped too. I shouldn't have drank any at all. I was feeling pretty impatient and short with people... but what can you do when there's a big line of customers? You can't stand and chitchat forever. You gotta get them out the door as efficiently as possible. And that's all these customers seem to want to do... chat.
The coffee did make me work faster though I felt like a maniac whenever I finally sat down. Luckily, I didn't have to sit down for too long before 30 people were in line again. Is it just where I live that customers seems to show up all at once and then ask us why it's so busy? When there isn't a line, they have a laugh at us because of how 'library-ish' our building is, even if there was a rush of customers prior to them showing up. Sillies.
Sigh, I'm really sad we're not allowed to read books at work. I just found that out today. Can we draw? Doodle? Probably not. There are cameras in most places. And higher ups overseeing and analyzing all of us. We have to read literature from work. I would be pretty thrilled if my work put out a book actually...
Anyway, I don't have much else to say. Except for that... I had a really good workout tonight. I'm feeling so much better now that I've stopped eating terrible things like yogurt (even though it's good for you... whuh?). I'm a little lactose intolerant, but you probably figured that out somewhere in this blog, or wherever else. I really think there is an affiliation between dairy, meat, and weight gain. I know people who eaten a little bit less of those two things, and they feel like they have much more energy and they've gotten leaner. It's pretty amazing.
Hmm... gotta go eat something for dinner now, or go to sleep, or both. The weather is still really quiet looking, cloudy, and beautiful. Today felt like my state wasn't landlocked and there was a beach around... like we were near San Francisco... so nice.
Bye bye!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Neener Neener.
Aghh.
What...
I gotta blog?
ARGHHHHHH...
FINE.
I'll fricking DO IT, okay.
So,
I picked at my face a bit too much today. My skin is being so odd and weird (odd and weird are really very interchangeable words... why did I use them both?). Grrgh. Dry skin patches all over my face and then... not so dry patches/stupid pimples. Retarded. I need to moisturize? My skin was doing so good. Now there are these weird, unpoppable breakouts going down... or... up everywhere, opening up shop like my face is Main Street.
Note to self: Don't worry about these ignorant sebacious whatevers. IGNORRRRRRRE THEMMMMMM.
Problem solved. Don't pick and make yourself uglier than you already are. :)
Ok so moving on...
My day was coolness.
My computer monitor died this morning...
I got ready for work then went to it (work)...
One of my co-workers was being a beep...
Went to lunch with my boyfriend...
Bought him lunch...
My co-worker continued to be a BEEP and a half...
Because she's an old person...
And has nothing better to do than start shit with co-workers for no legit reason...
Makes me wonder why she still works with us...
Umm, what else...
Finally read a book I received over 10 years ago...
It's about Escher...
Even though I already knew Escher's style of art...
It was still interesting...
I drew some more in my sketchbook...
It was mostly ideas for future photos...
They're gonna be really kickass photos...
Like, totally...
You have no idea how wicked-kickASS they're gonna be...
Hmm, what...
Else...
Oh.
Walked home in the rain...
Walked past a high school graduation in a football stadium...
They were being rained on...
It's an open football stadium...
This happens to my city's high schools every year almost...
Kind of weird.
Went with my parents to Costco to get a new monitor...
Ended up buying a new computer instead...
It's a really mad-awesome computer...
My dad stared at it and said how jealous he was of it...
I was like, "Cool beans....."
My mom left Costco...
Then my dad and I left Costco...
Had fun with hanging with my dad for a bit...
He drove like a maniac to get to Ikea in his new Jetta diesel wagon...
His Jetta said he had "0 miles" of gas left...
But my dad didn't care...
Ikea was more important...
After Ikea and some scrounging of the city streets...
We found a gas station that had diesel fuel...
Then I ran some more errands with my dad...
My dad's showing his age more though...
He's still a daredevil at least...
But he gets no sleep...
And it's definitely all his fault...
Well. That about sums it up.
My new computer isn't set up yet. I found out tonight my brother actually had a computer monitor I can use.
Oh really brother? REALLY???
Then why the eff did I buy a new computer!!!
JK.
I needed a new one.
Like...
BADLY.
Like, ohhhh... mannnnn... so badly.
This computer is so old you could say 'oh man' and everyone would think you were saying 'old man.' That's how old this computer is. Pentium III? Say whuh?
I'm dumping this old man in the trash...
... of a Goodwill, or Ebay auction. After I strip it down the freaking GRRROUND. And maybe after installing a new hard drive...
Or scrap that shitty idea, and sell that new hard drive on Ebay! I smart. :D
NightyNight!
p.s. Lordy Lordy... I love the cooler weather right now. It's kind of chilly... in a humid yet refreshing sort of way. It's 'wear-a-coat-if-you-damn-well-please' weather, and if you don't want to wear one, you're still an acceptable human being. I'm gonna dread the heat and lethargy that will ensue this Sunday and loiter for an extended, unwelcome stay of 4 months.
So cheers to you temporary cool weather... I'm gonna enjoy the fuck out of you.
What...
I gotta blog?
ARGHHHHHH...
FINE.
I'll fricking DO IT, okay.
So,
I picked at my face a bit too much today. My skin is being so odd and weird (odd and weird are really very interchangeable words... why did I use them both?). Grrgh. Dry skin patches all over my face and then... not so dry patches/stupid pimples. Retarded. I need to moisturize? My skin was doing so good. Now there are these weird, unpoppable breakouts going down... or... up everywhere, opening up shop like my face is Main Street.
Note to self: Don't worry about these ignorant sebacious whatevers. IGNORRRRRRRE THEMMMMMM.
Problem solved. Don't pick and make yourself uglier than you already are. :)
Ok so moving on...
My day was coolness.
My computer monitor died this morning...
I got ready for work then went to it (work)...
One of my co-workers was being a beep...
Went to lunch with my boyfriend...
Bought him lunch...
My co-worker continued to be a BEEP and a half...
Because she's an old person...
And has nothing better to do than start shit with co-workers for no legit reason...
Makes me wonder why she still works with us...
Umm, what else...
Finally read a book I received over 10 years ago...
It's about Escher...
Even though I already knew Escher's style of art...
It was still interesting...
I drew some more in my sketchbook...
It was mostly ideas for future photos...
They're gonna be really kickass photos...
Like, totally...
You have no idea how wicked-kickASS they're gonna be...
Hmm, what...
Else...
Oh.
Walked home in the rain...
Walked past a high school graduation in a football stadium...
They were being rained on...
It's an open football stadium...
This happens to my city's high schools every year almost...
Kind of weird.
Went with my parents to Costco to get a new monitor...
Ended up buying a new computer instead...
It's a really mad-awesome computer...
My dad stared at it and said how jealous he was of it...
I was like, "Cool beans....."
My mom left Costco...
Then my dad and I left Costco...
Had fun with hanging with my dad for a bit...
He drove like a maniac to get to Ikea in his new Jetta diesel wagon...
His Jetta said he had "0 miles" of gas left...
But my dad didn't care...
Ikea was more important...
After Ikea and some scrounging of the city streets...
We found a gas station that had diesel fuel...
Then I ran some more errands with my dad...
My dad's showing his age more though...
He's still a daredevil at least...
But he gets no sleep...
And it's definitely all his fault...
Well. That about sums it up.
My new computer isn't set up yet. I found out tonight my brother actually had a computer monitor I can use.
Oh really brother? REALLY???
Then why the eff did I buy a new computer!!!
JK.
I needed a new one.
Like...
BADLY.
Like, ohhhh... mannnnn... so badly.
This computer is so old you could say 'oh man' and everyone would think you were saying 'old man.' That's how old this computer is. Pentium III? Say whuh?
I'm dumping this old man in the trash...
... of a Goodwill, or Ebay auction. After I strip it down the freaking GRRROUND. And maybe after installing a new hard drive...
Or scrap that shitty idea, and sell that new hard drive on Ebay! I smart. :D
NightyNight!
p.s. Lordy Lordy... I love the cooler weather right now. It's kind of chilly... in a humid yet refreshing sort of way. It's 'wear-a-coat-if-you-damn-well-please' weather, and if you don't want to wear one, you're still an acceptable human being. I'm gonna dread the heat and lethargy that will ensue this Sunday and loiter for an extended, unwelcome stay of 4 months.
So cheers to you temporary cool weather... I'm gonna enjoy the fuck out of you.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Dairy-less.
Shit.
Gotta do a blog post for today.
So about today...
I kind of picked at my skin. My back is being ridiculous right now and me picking at it is making it worse... and uglier... and scabbier...
But what can you do?
Ignore it?
...That is like asking me to climb Mount Everest tomorrow morning with little to no training or proper attire.
Yeah...
Avoiding my skin is DIFFICILE!!! (French for difficult, braniacs.)
Today was pretty cool otherwise. Hung out with my boyfriend more... Which means I didn't get much else done even though he dropped me off at my house by about 3pm. Ugh... miniscule A.D.D. rearing its ugly noggin.
But on the brightside... I didn't feel bloated today! I was so happy to put on my jeans and not have to feel fat. I mean, I didn't feel super super thin like I'm used to, but I could at least... move muh legs a lot more... and not feel restricted... bleh.
Well, hopefully tomorrow is more eventful and I cease wasting time and actually do something with my life...
We shall see!
p.s. Dear Boyfriend, I know you cannot even begin to believe I am saying this, but... I kind of miss you. :)
Gotta do a blog post for today.
So about today...
I kind of picked at my skin. My back is being ridiculous right now and me picking at it is making it worse... and uglier... and scabbier...
But what can you do?
Ignore it?
...That is like asking me to climb Mount Everest tomorrow morning with little to no training or proper attire.
Yeah...
Avoiding my skin is DIFFICILE!!! (French for difficult, braniacs.)
Today was pretty cool otherwise. Hung out with my boyfriend more... Which means I didn't get much else done even though he dropped me off at my house by about 3pm. Ugh... miniscule A.D.D. rearing its ugly noggin.
But on the brightside... I didn't feel bloated today! I was so happy to put on my jeans and not have to feel fat. I mean, I didn't feel super super thin like I'm used to, but I could at least... move muh legs a lot more... and not feel restricted... bleh.
Well, hopefully tomorrow is more eventful and I cease wasting time and actually do something with my life...
We shall see!
p.s. Dear Boyfriend, I know you cannot even begin to believe I am saying this, but... I kind of miss you. :)
Aeroplane of the Conchs.
Oopsie Daisy!
I haven't blogged in two days! I went from blogging everyday to not blogging everyday... Oh well... 'tis okay... I can make up for it now...
On May 18th, 2009, I didn't really pick at my skin. No major damage was done.
On May 19th, 2009, a little nervous picking of my face, but more of the same -- No major damage was done.
May 18th was a good day:
Started off by eating breakfast at Wildflower Bread Company with my mom. We actually got a free $10 gift card because we were waiting for our food way too long. Did we really wait that long? My mom and I didn't even notice because we were having such a nice conversation and looking up fun facts on their WiFi via my iPod Touch. Haha. So we were floored beyond recognition when the food-runner guy brought us a gift card before we even got our food... It was a nice kind of 'floored' though... :)
I then went to work for 4 hours. Nice! Short day. I neither opened, nor closed... Muahahahaha! Then I proceeded to workout at my gym across the street to prevent any bloating and fatness later in the day (and to recover from last night's bit of ice cream). I really don't even know why I have ice cream sometimes, dairy makes me bloated. Grr.
Well, whatever. Anyway, I THEN went to get a haircut across town. Just a trim. Nothing major. I went to a beauty school because it is so much cheaper. Hallelujah.
Later that night... it got really windy and stormy for a few minutes. Thunder, lightning, and the sound of rushing wind hitting your windows is so dang awesome!!
During the storm and slightly before, I decided to spend the night at my boyfriend's since we would be going to the Flight of the Conchords concert the next day and I had the day off anyway. He picked me up in the midst of all the darkness on my neighborhood street (the houses directly across the street from us lost their power in the storm, but we didn't... so funny!).
My boytoy and I then went to go do his Flickr 365 photo before heading to his place and because he was running out of time (it was 10pm or something). He asked to borrow my tripod because e wanted a night time, long exposure, freeway shot. While taking some test photos, someone who lives near the freeway called the police on us because we were taking photos on the overpass above the freeway. I guess the person who tattled thought we were dropping buckets of acid on freeway drivers to injure them or something. Plus, they thought we were taking photos of whatever we were dropping. If we were dropping anything at all... it was nothing but phat, harmless pics yo! I helped my boyfriend figure out the right aperture and shutter speed to get some cool shots of the freeway cars below. See how they turned out... (there are more in the photostream).
Now onto May 19th:
Day of the Flight of the Conchords show... I will post more later today... :)
------------------------------------------------------
Agh. I'm back.
I felt so motivated to post about the Flight of the Conchords concert/show in Phoenix, Arizona, but now I'm not feeling like it. Ha!
I shall simply bulletpoint about my day and the concert then.
- Woke up at my boyfriend's place
- Feeling bloated from whatever I ate the day/night before
- Hung out with my boyfriend... made fun of each other... etc.
- Still feeling bloated
- Went to eat at the mall with the boy
- Had a 'veggie-max' sub from Subway and green tea from Starbuck's
- My boyfriend had something from Hotdog on a Stick... I was tempted to get a veggie dog on a stick, but resisted... :)
- Still feeling bloated... :(
- Got an EXTRA hot chai from Starbuck's on an already sizzling hot day to remedy the bloat... it helped a little bit
- Took a shower, got ready for the concert, etc.
- Boyfriend's cousins came over... they're going to the show too!
- Eventually got to show one hour before doors opened
- One of those bike-carriage people took us to the nearest bathroom outside of the unopened venue (one of my boyfriend's cousins is rather large... that lady was strong to bike all of us)
- Then at the next corner the lady told us to get off the bike-carriage thing because there were police nearby and she overloaded the carriage...
- My boyfriend's cousin used the bathroom then decided we should eat a snack at Tom's Tavern. We got a bunch of fried veggies, mozzarella sticks, onion rings, and chicken wings (the chicken wings I did not partake in).
- I had been feeling slightly less bloated, but then that fried food made me feel bloated again...
- I felt huge... :(
- The concert was cool. Unsurprisingly, many funny things went down.
- Here's an article about a few of the show hijinks: http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/slideshow/view/13242173
- We met comedian Arj Barker after the show...
- We all took photos with him...
- Mine and my boyfriend's photos didn't save, but his cousin's photos did get saved...
- ...Weird.
- My boyfriend was all JAZZED about meeting the Flight of the Conchords after the show...
- We went and waited with 30 fans by the barricades near the tour buses...
- We overheard on the the security guards walkie-talkie's that the Conchords had left through another door...
- Security told us they wouldn't be coming out...
- My boyfriend and others were still determined that they were bluffing and continued to wait for them...
- We saw a Papa John's pizza delivery guy deliver pizza to a tour bus...
- One of the two tour buses soon fled the scene...
- Arj walked out and stood where the tour bus that fled had been parked...
- Security guard walks over to Arj and is like "Arj... your bus left... you should escape the way the Conchords escaped..." (that's what I'm assuming he said :)
- Arj looks all confused... then waves at the fans... and heads back inside the venue...
- A poor man in a wheel cheer kept barking at the crowd of waiting fans... he kept saying how he wanted to meet the 'movie stars'... he was energetic... he reminded me of Gary Coleman... I don't think he even needed a wheel chair... he kept standing up out of it... he told me he thought he had seen me on tv... Funny... I have been on tv before... but he wouldn't have seen it... it was back in 8th grade...
- Sigh
- Another poor guy who was deaf told my boyfriend's cousin if he gave him money he would pay him back via snail mail...
- The deaf poor guy got money from my boyfriend's cousin then walked away quickly...
- Deaf poor guy never did ask for my boyfriend's cousin's mailing address...
- We all laughed...
- Umm...
- Blah blah blah
- After an hour of waiting, and lots of random women photos via my boyfriend's women-fanatic cousin and his camera... we headed back to my boyfriend's place.
Anywho...
I guess the Conchords never showed up at all. We had many theories about that tour bus that had fled the scene (more like slowly left, not fled as in speedracer). It probably went and picked them up somewhere else. Whatever. I didn't care. I wasn't heartbroken. I could tell my boyfriend was a bit though... he was quiet on the way home and looked to be in a mopey, dream-like state. Poor guy. I didn't make him drive me home once we got to his place... I bit the bullet and spent the night again. :)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
A Drive-By Push Out.
The only thing eventful about today was getting coffee/hanging out with my boyfriend, finishing Harry Potter #7, then going to the store with my mom just now.
While at Starbuck's with my boyfriend though, I did try the new Gluten-Free Orange Valencia Cake. I'm all about weird stuff like that. I think it's great. OH! And when we arrived at Starbuck's, we saw this girl sitting on the asphalt in the parking lot, crying, with 5-8 people near/surrounding her. My boyfriend and I looked at her then proceeded to go into Starbuck's. The barista was very quick to tell us what happened to that young woman sitting on the ground -- she had just been pushed out of a moving vehicle and the police were on their way. Hmmm... sad. :(
Walking out of Starbuck's, my boyfriend and I had theories about what may have caused her to be pushed out of the moving car -- argument with boyfriend or relative, maybe she smelled really bad, etc. Then my boyfriend told me of people who get killed while trying to cross the I-10 all the time. I was like "really? I thought that only happened in movies!" I'm sure those people aren't just trying to 'cross the I-10' to get to the other side, but because they're actually to die.
Moving on...
So how about my skin picking?
I think I did good today while the sun was out and it was daylight. Though I was feeling pudgy/cranky because of the coffee and whatever else. (I should've gotten green tea or something, argh.) But I eventually settled down a bit more after my boyfriend dropped me off at home. I kind of picked at my skin tonight out of boredom. :/ I'm still making progress though. My boyfriend made a comment this morning that he thinks I'm making progress too (although he didn't exactly say those precise words... he complimented me on something related to it. Ummm, something about my body...). I agreed with him... in my mind? (I don't think I said it out loud. I'm never really sure what I've said anymore. Or thought I said what I was thinking to someone. It's ridiculous. I'm turning into my dad.
In other news...
I might be going to Chicago in a week or two with my theatre friend for a two week stay (part of May, part of June). I've been to Chicago three times, but I'm always either sitting in a plane on the runway, or sitting in the airport, waiting for the next flight to my final destination. This time I'll be able to get out and see Chicago more... maybe even go camping in Southern Illinois (or Minnesota) or stay in her grandparents cabin in Wisconsin for a few days. Plane tickets are pretty cheap. And I'd be staying with her family while in Chi-Town. I hope work can give me two weeks off straight. Gotta swing that somehow.
I'm also supposed to be watching my neighbors house the entire month of June while she's visiting family in Michigan. I'll be watering her gazillion plants, watering the front and backyards, feeding her dog, giving him his doggie meds, checking her pool, etc. I get paid for it, but maybe I'll have someone else help me if I happen to be in Chicago for a few days in June. I'd split a percentage of the pay with them of course. My brother is my top candidate, but he may space out and forget to do it... so I need a backup. Maybe my mom? Though I'm afraid she'd fall in the pool because of her hobbley walk/disability with her broke knee still healing... (it's a thin sidewalk between my neighbor's house and pool to get to the backyard plants so that's where the concern lies...)
Yadda yaddi. I almost went to sleep at 9am tonight... OMG! I know rieeght?? Then my mom was like "Hey Pril boopie-baby, let's go to the store and get these water jugs filled up!" and I was like "Alllllriiiiiiiiighttttttt..." and slid outta bed. I had only been lying there for two minutes and got the notion I wasn't gonna be able to sleep even if I wanted to... so I didn't hesitate on the invitation to go somewhere and leave the house. (And return my Harry Potter book to the library. I lightly kissed it goodbye before dropping it in the book return slot, even though it's a dirty, used library book and muggles have put their grubby, ghetto hands all over it. What will I read next? It's weird to say, but I miss Harry!!)
Oh yeah, and my parents had fun in Ohio at the trade show I guess. They got back safe and sound tonight. They made a good profit on the LED products my dad sells. Yay for them!
Work tomorrow. Flight of the Conchords concert/show Tuesday. My boyfriend might just jizz himself. BIG fan. I'm a fan, but he might freak out if he meets them in person after the show. He wants to arrive early on Tuesday to scout out their bus. It's crazy. I would never do that. I just always happen to find tour buses without even looking for them. I walk down a street or turn a corner and I'm like "Oh. A tour bus. La di FREAKING da." :) I know. I sound so thrilled. I think I'm just jealous because I'm not the one with a band on tour even if band people don't take showers for days. Haha. Hmm, although... there is a 'band' (?) in the works. I won't say much more. But I'm excited... it's probably just for funsies anyway. It's family related blah blah blah...
Alright...
Night!!
* )) * <--- ugly moon with stars
While at Starbuck's with my boyfriend though, I did try the new Gluten-Free Orange Valencia Cake. I'm all about weird stuff like that. I think it's great. OH! And when we arrived at Starbuck's, we saw this girl sitting on the asphalt in the parking lot, crying, with 5-8 people near/surrounding her. My boyfriend and I looked at her then proceeded to go into Starbuck's. The barista was very quick to tell us what happened to that young woman sitting on the ground -- she had just been pushed out of a moving vehicle and the police were on their way. Hmmm... sad. :(
Walking out of Starbuck's, my boyfriend and I had theories about what may have caused her to be pushed out of the moving car -- argument with boyfriend or relative, maybe she smelled really bad, etc. Then my boyfriend told me of people who get killed while trying to cross the I-10 all the time. I was like "really? I thought that only happened in movies!" I'm sure those people aren't just trying to 'cross the I-10' to get to the other side, but because they're actually to die.
Moving on...
So how about my skin picking?
I think I did good today while the sun was out and it was daylight. Though I was feeling pudgy/cranky because of the coffee and whatever else. (I should've gotten green tea or something, argh.) But I eventually settled down a bit more after my boyfriend dropped me off at home. I kind of picked at my skin tonight out of boredom. :/ I'm still making progress though. My boyfriend made a comment this morning that he thinks I'm making progress too (although he didn't exactly say those precise words... he complimented me on something related to it. Ummm, something about my body...). I agreed with him... in my mind? (I don't think I said it out loud. I'm never really sure what I've said anymore. Or thought I said what I was thinking to someone. It's ridiculous. I'm turning into my dad.
In other news...
I might be going to Chicago in a week or two with my theatre friend for a two week stay (part of May, part of June). I've been to Chicago three times, but I'm always either sitting in a plane on the runway, or sitting in the airport, waiting for the next flight to my final destination. This time I'll be able to get out and see Chicago more... maybe even go camping in Southern Illinois (or Minnesota) or stay in her grandparents cabin in Wisconsin for a few days. Plane tickets are pretty cheap. And I'd be staying with her family while in Chi-Town. I hope work can give me two weeks off straight. Gotta swing that somehow.
I'm also supposed to be watching my neighbors house the entire month of June while she's visiting family in Michigan. I'll be watering her gazillion plants, watering the front and backyards, feeding her dog, giving him his doggie meds, checking her pool, etc. I get paid for it, but maybe I'll have someone else help me if I happen to be in Chicago for a few days in June. I'd split a percentage of the pay with them of course. My brother is my top candidate, but he may space out and forget to do it... so I need a backup. Maybe my mom? Though I'm afraid she'd fall in the pool because of her hobbley walk/disability with her broke knee still healing... (it's a thin sidewalk between my neighbor's house and pool to get to the backyard plants so that's where the concern lies...)
Yadda yaddi. I almost went to sleep at 9am tonight... OMG! I know rieeght?? Then my mom was like "Hey Pril boopie-baby, let's go to the store and get these water jugs filled up!" and I was like "Alllllriiiiiiiiighttttttt..." and slid outta bed. I had only been lying there for two minutes and got the notion I wasn't gonna be able to sleep even if I wanted to... so I didn't hesitate on the invitation to go somewhere and leave the house. (And return my Harry Potter book to the library. I lightly kissed it goodbye before dropping it in the book return slot, even though it's a dirty, used library book and muggles have put their grubby, ghetto hands all over it. What will I read next? It's weird to say, but I miss Harry!!)
Oh yeah, and my parents had fun in Ohio at the trade show I guess. They got back safe and sound tonight. They made a good profit on the LED products my dad sells. Yay for them!
Work tomorrow. Flight of the Conchords concert/show Tuesday. My boyfriend might just jizz himself. BIG fan. I'm a fan, but he might freak out if he meets them in person after the show. He wants to arrive early on Tuesday to scout out their bus. It's crazy. I would never do that. I just always happen to find tour buses without even looking for them. I walk down a street or turn a corner and I'm like "Oh. A tour bus. La di FREAKING da." :) I know. I sound so thrilled. I think I'm just jealous because I'm not the one with a band on tour even if band people don't take showers for days. Haha. Hmm, although... there is a 'band' (?) in the works. I won't say much more. But I'm excited... it's probably just for funsies anyway. It's family related blah blah blah...
Alright...
Night!!
* )) * <--- ugly moon with stars
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Alice.
I (basically) did not pick at my skin today!
I'm psyched!
I also think my butt looks too big today.
Boo!!
I'll type more later... and then you'll know why this blog is entitled... "ALICE."
-----------------------------------------
Alright so continue this blog...
This blog is called 'Alice.' because I went to my college's theatre oscars awards, which gives awards to various people who made a difference in the theatre department this school year. It was Alice in Wonderland themed this year. They gave out awards to students for acting, makeup design, lighting design, scene design, sound design, and other technical aspects. I got an award for overall academic excellence, which includes grade point average, taking honors classes, acting, and helping out both the scene shop and costum room with getting props and costumes ready for shows I was in. I think I pretty much get this award every year actually... they just dressed the award up more? I'm not sure on that... It's still nice to get some kind of award though.
I missed the dinner (or whatever else they had going... water balloon fights? I don't know) prior to the awards show because I was busy with other things. I kind of wish I had gone to the dinner. There are some people I won't see in the theatre department anymore because they are either retiring or going to another college. I didn't really socialize after the event either... I was feeling awesome, yet blah. And my boyfriend was getting super bored so we didn't stay long.
The most fun part about the awards ceremony was the Roast of Lyn Dutson. She was head of the theatre department, but is now retiring after being a professor for 30 years or more. The people who were hand picked to talk about Lyn (mostly teachers or theatre students who are now teachers) while she sat on a thrown on stage did a great job. The stories were so amusing. Lyn is a black belt so a lot fo the stories alluded to made up events of her suddenly turning into a ninja, etc. A list of 'Chuck Norris' like statements were presented about Lyn Dutson and how powerful she is. Others talked about how ancient she is -- a history that included how she was the one the one who sewed the first American Flag; how she was the one performing on stage the night Abraham Lincoln was shot (not to mention how she killed Booth then resumed her stage performance); and so forth. It was really very very very funny. I think my boyfriend got a kick out of it though he was slow to show his amusement... because he despises most of the people in my college's theatre department for whatever reason.
Anyway, I felt kind of bummed last night after the ceremony. I realized I don't really have an extraordinary life like some people. (I know it's not really true though... we all feel like people have better lives than us once in awhile.) But then my boyfriend and I went and ate something. We were hungry and hadn't eaten in 6 hours or so. We went to Islands for the first time where I got a veggie burger with sauteed mushrooms and my boyfriend got some kind of normal meat burger with spicy everything on it. Haha, he was in so much discomfort from gas and fullness afterwards. He felt like he had cramps girls get when their you-know-whats start. I think it's funny to press on his stomach when he's full. He gets a little mad (and laughs). :) I was full too though! Definitely.
Later that night, I got caught up on the last 3 episodes of The Office Season 5 at my boyfriend's place. Thanks boyfriend. I don't think I'm done with Season 2 or 3 though... (I originally started with Season 4, then Season 1, then... a mixture of Seasons 2, 3, and 5. :)
It was a cool day altogether though. Work this morning wasn't too bad either.
I'm psyched!
I also think my butt looks too big today.
Boo!!
I'll type more later... and then you'll know why this blog is entitled... "ALICE."
-----------------------------------------
Alright so continue this blog...
This blog is called 'Alice.' because I went to my college's theatre oscars awards, which gives awards to various people who made a difference in the theatre department this school year. It was Alice in Wonderland themed this year. They gave out awards to students for acting, makeup design, lighting design, scene design, sound design, and other technical aspects. I got an award for overall academic excellence, which includes grade point average, taking honors classes, acting, and helping out both the scene shop and costum room with getting props and costumes ready for shows I was in. I think I pretty much get this award every year actually... they just dressed the award up more? I'm not sure on that... It's still nice to get some kind of award though.
I missed the dinner (or whatever else they had going... water balloon fights? I don't know) prior to the awards show because I was busy with other things. I kind of wish I had gone to the dinner. There are some people I won't see in the theatre department anymore because they are either retiring or going to another college. I didn't really socialize after the event either... I was feeling awesome, yet blah. And my boyfriend was getting super bored so we didn't stay long.
The most fun part about the awards ceremony was the Roast of Lyn Dutson. She was head of the theatre department, but is now retiring after being a professor for 30 years or more. The people who were hand picked to talk about Lyn (mostly teachers or theatre students who are now teachers) while she sat on a thrown on stage did a great job. The stories were so amusing. Lyn is a black belt so a lot fo the stories alluded to made up events of her suddenly turning into a ninja, etc. A list of 'Chuck Norris' like statements were presented about Lyn Dutson and how powerful she is. Others talked about how ancient she is -- a history that included how she was the one the one who sewed the first American Flag; how she was the one performing on stage the night Abraham Lincoln was shot (not to mention how she killed Booth then resumed her stage performance); and so forth. It was really very very very funny. I think my boyfriend got a kick out of it though he was slow to show his amusement... because he despises most of the people in my college's theatre department for whatever reason.
Anyway, I felt kind of bummed last night after the ceremony. I realized I don't really have an extraordinary life like some people. (I know it's not really true though... we all feel like people have better lives than us once in awhile.) But then my boyfriend and I went and ate something. We were hungry and hadn't eaten in 6 hours or so. We went to Islands for the first time where I got a veggie burger with sauteed mushrooms and my boyfriend got some kind of normal meat burger with spicy everything on it. Haha, he was in so much discomfort from gas and fullness afterwards. He felt like he had cramps girls get when their you-know-whats start. I think it's funny to press on his stomach when he's full. He gets a little mad (and laughs). :) I was full too though! Definitely.
Later that night, I got caught up on the last 3 episodes of The Office Season 5 at my boyfriend's place. Thanks boyfriend. I don't think I'm done with Season 2 or 3 though... (I originally started with Season 4, then Season 1, then... a mixture of Seasons 2, 3, and 5. :)
It was a cool day altogether though. Work this morning wasn't too bad either.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Data.
I want to make this blog quick and very clear...
I
PRETTY
MUCH
DID
NOT
PICK
AT
MY
SKIN
TO
DAY!!
Woooooo!
I felt bloated a little today. And when you're at work half the day while feeling bloated... that's never fun. People see you you know. And you feel like everyone is noticing how you fat you look. Ugh.
Haha, I'm sure unless you're like seriously, BOOM... OUT THERE fat... no one really notices a little bloating on a skinny -ish person.
I watched Farrah Fawcets' documentary on her battle with cancer. The documentary ends with her still fighting. But God, what a roller coaster she's going through. Many many 'almost remissions' then all of a sudden it's back. She was on the road to recovery 5 different times before they found out it had come back 5 different times. Gah.
I'm pretty much scared that if I keep picking at my skin, I will get cancer. There is this certain area of my skin I pick at near my chest... and yeah, that's where my concern lies. Picking at my arms? Whatever. I don't care. I mean, I do care. I want the scars to go away. But I'm sure I'll get skin cancer from being baked in the sun too much before cancer due to 'skin picking of the arms' happens.
Wull... anyway. I just gotta think of Fawcet's documentary (even though she got cancer for completely different reasons and it's a completely different kind of cancer)... I gotta think about what I don't want happening too soon. My skin picking affects a high cancer risk area -- I don't want even a slight chance of cancer happening there. As it is already, I am a woman, and women are diagnosed with cancer everyday. Picking in that area puts more odds against me in a crucial way. Bleh. EEK. :/
So yeah... my new motivations to not pick at my skin at all are: a) beautiful skin b) higher confidence c) Fawcet's documentary d) NO CANCER PLEASE!
This may all seem extremely silly to you, but since there is no 'patch' for Dermatillomania (aside from maybe anti-depressants), I'm all for finding reminders not to pick at my skin. And I know people can get cancer from anything... I just want less risk factors in my life for developing the dummy disease.
Gotta try and sleep now. Goo'night.
p.s. this may not look like a quick blog... but I type quick, so THERE.
I
PRETTY
MUCH
DID
NOT
PICK
AT
MY
SKIN
TO
DAY!!
Woooooo!
I felt bloated a little today. And when you're at work half the day while feeling bloated... that's never fun. People see you you know. And you feel like everyone is noticing how you fat you look. Ugh.
Haha, I'm sure unless you're like seriously, BOOM... OUT THERE fat... no one really notices a little bloating on a skinny -ish person.
I watched Farrah Fawcets' documentary on her battle with cancer. The documentary ends with her still fighting. But God, what a roller coaster she's going through. Many many 'almost remissions' then all of a sudden it's back. She was on the road to recovery 5 different times before they found out it had come back 5 different times. Gah.
I'm pretty much scared that if I keep picking at my skin, I will get cancer. There is this certain area of my skin I pick at near my chest... and yeah, that's where my concern lies. Picking at my arms? Whatever. I don't care. I mean, I do care. I want the scars to go away. But I'm sure I'll get skin cancer from being baked in the sun too much before cancer due to 'skin picking of the arms' happens.
Wull... anyway. I just gotta think of Fawcet's documentary (even though she got cancer for completely different reasons and it's a completely different kind of cancer)... I gotta think about what I don't want happening too soon. My skin picking affects a high cancer risk area -- I don't want even a slight chance of cancer happening there. As it is already, I am a woman, and women are diagnosed with cancer everyday. Picking in that area puts more odds against me in a crucial way. Bleh. EEK. :/
So yeah... my new motivations to not pick at my skin at all are: a) beautiful skin b) higher confidence c) Fawcet's documentary d) NO CANCER PLEASE!
This may all seem extremely silly to you, but since there is no 'patch' for Dermatillomania (aside from maybe anti-depressants), I'm all for finding reminders not to pick at my skin. And I know people can get cancer from anything... I just want less risk factors in my life for developing the dummy disease.
Gotta try and sleep now. Goo'night.
p.s. this may not look like a quick blog... but I type quick, so THERE.
Chuggin' Chlorine.
All I really have to report is that my skin hurts A LOT right now... because of me.
Poo poo. Shame on moi.
But I'll get over it.
Today was a terrific day. I felt great. And I have no idea why. I just sat up straighter naturally because of all the yoga I've been doing lately. I'm feeling the whole "better posture" bit of it. And school's out... that has finally melted and settled into my brain. Awesome!
Isn't it funny how these things don't add up though? I'm slightly less stressed now, but I still attacked my skin more than I expected. Boredom? Well, I blame it on you, Mr. Boredom. And being sleepy, but not knowing when to sleep. Zoning out, etc.
Grrrr!!! I'm a frustrated, sort of sad bear!
Hmm, yeah, back to today... On short notice (for me anyway), my brother's girlfriend gathered all her gal palz at our house and shot a movie on the fly. It was for her final project in her film class at East Valley Academy. Can't wait to see the final product. It's gonna be so funny. They improved all the lines, the plot etc. The original plot no one wanted to partake in for some reason. They hated her idea? I don't know. I thought it was pretty cool. But I will admit this plot was cooler...
So for the movie, my younger brother dresses up as a young Rico Suave/Borat/Italian/Spanish/French sorta guy (complete with an eyeliner mustache and soul patch, and slicked back hair). He is the gardener/pool guy for a girl's family. This girl's friends come over, see the pool guy, think he's cute (despite his awkward yet enticing ways of dealing with yard and pool work), and then each girl proceeds to gnab his attention in oddly dorky ways (one girl falls into the pool while trying to talk to him). The girls basically make bets with each other that neither of them can get the pool guy's attention. Soon some super geeky, broken glasses girl (my brother's girlfriend) knocks on the popular girl's door to ask if she can borrow some sugar, then asks what the girls are doing staring at that ugly pool guy through the backyard window. Essentially, by the end of the movie, pool guy falls in love with geeky girl and the other girls, who had tried with great difficulty (and embarrassment) to get his attention... don't win his admiration at all. (To which the rejected girls have a fit and order both pool guy and geeky girl to be banished from the town forever and ever.)
The movie offers a great lesson for women and girls alike -- play hard to get, tell the guy he's ugly, and he's all yours.
It's just really funny and cute. I helped film some of it. The semi-porfessional Canon camera my brother's girlfriend rented from her film class was super nice. :) Can't wait until the movie is edited. I guess all the movies from her film class will be played at a local movie theatre here. Nifty! Photos were taken of the cast for a movie poster of some type. So that's cool too.
Oh yeah, and I wanted to mention... my boyfriend came over when we were almost done shooting the short movie. He is the surprise ending -- a NEW pool guy. Does the girl hire the new pool guy after firing the previous pool guy? AGHHH... WHO KNOWS!!! (There was a lot of screaming towards the end of the movie. The girls were pretty angry at pool guy number one. Hint much?)
Notable Blog Mention:
Thanks for hanging out with me, boyfwiend. My boyfriend has a new job. He was gonna keep the news from me, but I threatened to ruin his most beloved comic books if he didn't tell me. Haha, I kidd. He told me after I noticed odd formal clothing in his backseat that is normally not in his car at all... "Hmmm, interview?" I asked. Then he just flatout told me. :) He starts his new job next Wednesday. Go him!
Well, I should be attempting to sleep now. Gotta go to work in the morn. Then after work, maybe make some biscotti for the Alice in Wonderland End of Year Theatre Party this Saturday? Agh... decisions, decisions. I may not have enough time anyway... the way I make biscotti is kind of time consuming. :/ I'm obsessed with making sure it is super great and presentable.
BLAH!
Goodnight moon.
Poo poo. Shame on moi.
But I'll get over it.
Today was a terrific day. I felt great. And I have no idea why. I just sat up straighter naturally because of all the yoga I've been doing lately. I'm feeling the whole "better posture" bit of it. And school's out... that has finally melted and settled into my brain. Awesome!
Isn't it funny how these things don't add up though? I'm slightly less stressed now, but I still attacked my skin more than I expected. Boredom? Well, I blame it on you, Mr. Boredom. And being sleepy, but not knowing when to sleep. Zoning out, etc.
Grrrr!!! I'm a frustrated, sort of sad bear!
Hmm, yeah, back to today... On short notice (for me anyway), my brother's girlfriend gathered all her gal palz at our house and shot a movie on the fly. It was for her final project in her film class at East Valley Academy. Can't wait to see the final product. It's gonna be so funny. They improved all the lines, the plot etc. The original plot no one wanted to partake in for some reason. They hated her idea? I don't know. I thought it was pretty cool. But I will admit this plot was cooler...
So for the movie, my younger brother dresses up as a young Rico Suave/Borat/Italian/Spanish/French sorta guy (complete with an eyeliner mustache and soul patch, and slicked back hair). He is the gardener/pool guy for a girl's family. This girl's friends come over, see the pool guy, think he's cute (despite his awkward yet enticing ways of dealing with yard and pool work), and then each girl proceeds to gnab his attention in oddly dorky ways (one girl falls into the pool while trying to talk to him). The girls basically make bets with each other that neither of them can get the pool guy's attention. Soon some super geeky, broken glasses girl (my brother's girlfriend) knocks on the popular girl's door to ask if she can borrow some sugar, then asks what the girls are doing staring at that ugly pool guy through the backyard window. Essentially, by the end of the movie, pool guy falls in love with geeky girl and the other girls, who had tried with great difficulty (and embarrassment) to get his attention... don't win his admiration at all. (To which the rejected girls have a fit and order both pool guy and geeky girl to be banished from the town forever and ever.)
The movie offers a great lesson for women and girls alike -- play hard to get, tell the guy he's ugly, and he's all yours.
It's just really funny and cute. I helped film some of it. The semi-porfessional Canon camera my brother's girlfriend rented from her film class was super nice. :) Can't wait until the movie is edited. I guess all the movies from her film class will be played at a local movie theatre here. Nifty! Photos were taken of the cast for a movie poster of some type. So that's cool too.
Oh yeah, and I wanted to mention... my boyfriend came over when we were almost done shooting the short movie. He is the surprise ending -- a NEW pool guy. Does the girl hire the new pool guy after firing the previous pool guy? AGHHH... WHO KNOWS!!! (There was a lot of screaming towards the end of the movie. The girls were pretty angry at pool guy number one. Hint much?)
Notable Blog Mention:
Thanks for hanging out with me, boyfwiend. My boyfriend has a new job. He was gonna keep the news from me, but I threatened to ruin his most beloved comic books if he didn't tell me. Haha, I kidd. He told me after I noticed odd formal clothing in his backseat that is normally not in his car at all... "Hmmm, interview?" I asked. Then he just flatout told me. :) He starts his new job next Wednesday. Go him!
Well, I should be attempting to sleep now. Gotta go to work in the morn. Then after work, maybe make some biscotti for the Alice in Wonderland End of Year Theatre Party this Saturday? Agh... decisions, decisions. I may not have enough time anyway... the way I make biscotti is kind of time consuming. :/ I'm obsessed with making sure it is super great and presentable.
BLAH!
Goodnight moon.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Dizzy Dino.
Today was pretty draining.
The weather...
The people...
The fact that I missed two buses and got to class late for my final exam...
I arrived around 11am for a 10:30am final. I really don't know how much earlier a girl needs to leave in order to get to class on time. I leave on the bus anywhere from 1.5 - 2 hours early before class starts. I missed my usual bus I take and missing that one already means I'll be arriving to class 30 minutes if I take the next bus (buses run every 30 minutes, generally, with a few exceptions on certain bus routes and light rail). So I take another bus route as a 'wild card route' in hopes of getting to class only 1 or 2 minutes late.
Nope.
I don't even know why I tried it. I knew what would happen because it happened last time... I'm stuck on the bus in traffic at a red light when I see the bus I'm supposed to be catching whooshing by the bus stop because it has the green light and it can do that. Anyway, I still arrived to class around 11am, just as I would have if I took the other bus route.
Being late to this class was really not that big of a deal. My teacher (who is retiring this semester!) was cool with it because a) it's theatre class b) everyone is always late to this particular class c) they're theatre people and d) theatre people are notorious for being late. And I knew the final was just gonna consist of us watching a video (we watched 'Spirit') and then analyzing the video using all we learned in class (such as what is the inciting incident, climax, symbols, external conflict, internal conflict, etc.). I really don't know if I did well on it still, but it's still better than taking an exam over everything we learned this semester like my teacher had originally planned (from Greek to Shakespeare and Neoclassism to Asian/African Theatre and the 10 zillion genres that fall under "Modern Theatre")... I was glad the test was not on all of that. Or what if it was? I may have done well on it. I did on the unit tests during the semester.
Whatever.
I just hope my final grade is still an A. I saw a print out of my grade today and it's a low A. I really don't know what percentage of my grade the final will be. I have it on the class syllabus somewhere, but I'm too scared to look.
After class, I was pretty happy to go to work although I was still feeling mopey. (I had been crying on the way to my final. I just hate when you're determined to get somewhere on time and shit stops you from doing that. Is it so bad to cry about it? I was extremely frustrated. I cried silently though! I promise. I also had a hat on. No one could see me. People don't look at me. EVER.)
Anyway, what was I saying about work? Ah, yes... I arrived and work and just wanted the day to end. I got back on track with reading Harry Potter #7! That was cool. I renewed my interest in what's going on in that book. Last time I read it I was on chapter 24 somewhere. I read a few chapters today. It's getting so good. Why is that book so good? Ugh! I'm really gonna be sad when there are no more Harry Potter's to read. :( I may end up being one of those people who re-read them. We shall see.
Ummm, so yeah after work, I went and cashed in my text book. $40 for used book that originally cost $90! Woo! (It's a softcover book, so it's pretty cheap in general.)
I was feeling so famished as I got closer to home. This morning, I had walked into a Circle K for like the first time in my life and bought a SlimFast shake and Nutrigrain bar for breakfast. Grabbed an iced soy chai from my school's coffee shop (which I immediately regretted when I whipped out my debit card; they charge more than the corporate coffee shops; $5-6... agh) and bought two dark chocolate almond bars for lunch while at work (leftover from our March of Dimes donation candy sale donation). Oh and green tea I made myself. If I had had a lunch break, I would have eaten more. But despite my feeling tired and irritable, I feel thin and that's all that matters. Haha.
Anyway... I sort of picked at my skin today. I have some scabs on my face I can't seem to leave alone. That's about the news I have to offer on the skin-front today. (Pretty much the same as everyday... pretty boring, haha.)
Oh! And President Obama is speaking at ASU's graduation in the next town over from mine tonight... pretty nifty. Can't imagine the traffice over THERE. I also wonder if anyone I know is graduating tonight. If so, they have a more of an accomplished life than I do -- whether or not Obama is speaking.
Here's to hoping the fact that summer is here sets into my brainz, so I can feel jovial again! Umm, maybe I should just eat more?
Nah. Don't wanna feel bloated. I'd rather feel skeletory than bloated and fat any day. Woo!
:)
The weather...
The people...
The fact that I missed two buses and got to class late for my final exam...
I arrived around 11am for a 10:30am final. I really don't know how much earlier a girl needs to leave in order to get to class on time. I leave on the bus anywhere from 1.5 - 2 hours early before class starts. I missed my usual bus I take and missing that one already means I'll be arriving to class 30 minutes if I take the next bus (buses run every 30 minutes, generally, with a few exceptions on certain bus routes and light rail). So I take another bus route as a 'wild card route' in hopes of getting to class only 1 or 2 minutes late.
Nope.
I don't even know why I tried it. I knew what would happen because it happened last time... I'm stuck on the bus in traffic at a red light when I see the bus I'm supposed to be catching whooshing by the bus stop because it has the green light and it can do that. Anyway, I still arrived to class around 11am, just as I would have if I took the other bus route.
Being late to this class was really not that big of a deal. My teacher (who is retiring this semester!) was cool with it because a) it's theatre class b) everyone is always late to this particular class c) they're theatre people and d) theatre people are notorious for being late. And I knew the final was just gonna consist of us watching a video (we watched 'Spirit') and then analyzing the video using all we learned in class (such as what is the inciting incident, climax, symbols, external conflict, internal conflict, etc.). I really don't know if I did well on it still, but it's still better than taking an exam over everything we learned this semester like my teacher had originally planned (from Greek to Shakespeare and Neoclassism to Asian/African Theatre and the 10 zillion genres that fall under "Modern Theatre")... I was glad the test was not on all of that. Or what if it was? I may have done well on it. I did on the unit tests during the semester.
Whatever.
I just hope my final grade is still an A. I saw a print out of my grade today and it's a low A. I really don't know what percentage of my grade the final will be. I have it on the class syllabus somewhere, but I'm too scared to look.
After class, I was pretty happy to go to work although I was still feeling mopey. (I had been crying on the way to my final. I just hate when you're determined to get somewhere on time and shit stops you from doing that. Is it so bad to cry about it? I was extremely frustrated. I cried silently though! I promise. I also had a hat on. No one could see me. People don't look at me. EVER.)
Anyway, what was I saying about work? Ah, yes... I arrived and work and just wanted the day to end. I got back on track with reading Harry Potter #7! That was cool. I renewed my interest in what's going on in that book. Last time I read it I was on chapter 24 somewhere. I read a few chapters today. It's getting so good. Why is that book so good? Ugh! I'm really gonna be sad when there are no more Harry Potter's to read. :( I may end up being one of those people who re-read them. We shall see.
Ummm, so yeah after work, I went and cashed in my text book. $40 for used book that originally cost $90! Woo! (It's a softcover book, so it's pretty cheap in general.)
I was feeling so famished as I got closer to home. This morning, I had walked into a Circle K for like the first time in my life and bought a SlimFast shake and Nutrigrain bar for breakfast. Grabbed an iced soy chai from my school's coffee shop (which I immediately regretted when I whipped out my debit card; they charge more than the corporate coffee shops; $5-6... agh) and bought two dark chocolate almond bars for lunch while at work (leftover from our March of Dimes donation candy sale donation). Oh and green tea I made myself. If I had had a lunch break, I would have eaten more. But despite my feeling tired and irritable, I feel thin and that's all that matters. Haha.
Anyway... I sort of picked at my skin today. I have some scabs on my face I can't seem to leave alone. That's about the news I have to offer on the skin-front today. (Pretty much the same as everyday... pretty boring, haha.)
Oh! And President Obama is speaking at ASU's graduation in the next town over from mine tonight... pretty nifty. Can't imagine the traffice over THERE. I also wonder if anyone I know is graduating tonight. If so, they have a more of an accomplished life than I do -- whether or not Obama is speaking.
Here's to hoping the fact that summer is here sets into my brainz, so I can feel jovial again! Umm, maybe I should just eat more?
Nah. Don't wanna feel bloated. I'd rather feel skeletory than bloated and fat any day. Woo!
:)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Zonk.
I didn't really care about today... I tried to care... but it felt pointless.
I felt pretty numb all day. I'm sure I picked at my skin a couple times... but nothing too serious. Only sorta serious.
Had a mandatory meeting at work today. Took the long way home on the bus after because the meeting went longer than expected (but with what has been occurring at my work due to the economy, a longer meeting is fine). I was just so zoned out on the bus, it was unbelievable. Just sat their listening to music. I felt like my brain couldn't function. Also... probably because I hadn't eaten anything for 8 hours I'm sure.
Earlier in the day, I tried to study for my final a little bit. But it really felt pointless. I'm amazed I am saying this... but I'm just gonna take whatever comes. Well, it's not really surprising that I'm saying that. I wing many things. School exams aren't generally one of them. I usually give a little more study effort than I'm exhibiting here. I have a really high A right now, so I think I may be fine...
(You'll definitely hear about it if I'm not fine though.)
Hmmm... I feel a little better now that I've eaten something. I had a few Boston baked beans (candy) and unsweetened chocolate (which I melted in the microwave and added honey to then ate it right out of the bowl... it's not too weird). I also had peanut butter toast and a pear. Yay dinner! Oh yeah, I did have an unsweetened hot chai during the meeting. I made it myself. I wish I would have put Splenda in it though or regular sugar at least. The only sweetener we have at work right now is Equal, and once we run out of that... Sweet n' Low... and I would rather pull out ALL of my hair before I ever touch Sweet n' Low. It has thee worst after-taste ever in the Universe. It's like accidentally tasting ear wax. SICK!!! (Expired espresso shots also taste like ear wax... don't ever try it.)
AGHHHHH.
I can't wait for summer to start after tomorrow. I don't really like summer, but I will feel a whole lot free-er because it's summer and school is gone. I don't know what's been going on this semester, but the end of it has me feeling sad and pitiful. I just want to move on.
Ummm...
My parents leave for Ohio early tomorrow morning. I wish them a splendidly safe trip.
Hmmm...
I'm gonna go to bed really extra extra early tonight...
Like...
RIGHT NOW.
Toodles.
I felt pretty numb all day. I'm sure I picked at my skin a couple times... but nothing too serious. Only sorta serious.
Had a mandatory meeting at work today. Took the long way home on the bus after because the meeting went longer than expected (but with what has been occurring at my work due to the economy, a longer meeting is fine). I was just so zoned out on the bus, it was unbelievable. Just sat their listening to music. I felt like my brain couldn't function. Also... probably because I hadn't eaten anything for 8 hours I'm sure.
Earlier in the day, I tried to study for my final a little bit. But it really felt pointless. I'm amazed I am saying this... but I'm just gonna take whatever comes. Well, it's not really surprising that I'm saying that. I wing many things. School exams aren't generally one of them. I usually give a little more study effort than I'm exhibiting here. I have a really high A right now, so I think I may be fine...
(You'll definitely hear about it if I'm not fine though.)
Hmmm... I feel a little better now that I've eaten something. I had a few Boston baked beans (candy) and unsweetened chocolate (which I melted in the microwave and added honey to then ate it right out of the bowl... it's not too weird). I also had peanut butter toast and a pear. Yay dinner! Oh yeah, I did have an unsweetened hot chai during the meeting. I made it myself. I wish I would have put Splenda in it though or regular sugar at least. The only sweetener we have at work right now is Equal, and once we run out of that... Sweet n' Low... and I would rather pull out ALL of my hair before I ever touch Sweet n' Low. It has thee worst after-taste ever in the Universe. It's like accidentally tasting ear wax. SICK!!! (Expired espresso shots also taste like ear wax... don't ever try it.)
AGHHHHH.
I can't wait for summer to start after tomorrow. I don't really like summer, but I will feel a whole lot free-er because it's summer and school is gone. I don't know what's been going on this semester, but the end of it has me feeling sad and pitiful. I just want to move on.
Ummm...
My parents leave for Ohio early tomorrow morning. I wish them a splendidly safe trip.
Hmmm...
I'm gonna go to bed really extra extra early tonight...
Like...
RIGHT NOW.
Toodles.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Excessive.
Hmmm... blog, shmog.
I'm tired and don't feel much like blogging again. But I wanted to let you know... I hardly picked at my skin today. Today was a day for catching up on crap around the house, studying for my final, which... I didn't really accomplish a whole lot. I did feel more positive today than in the past, but now that I've realized today was kind of a lazy day... I'm hating myself. Emailed my paper. That's a plus. Almost done with my laundry. That's a plus. Returned a book to the library ON TIME. That's kewl. Ummm... some other chores... blah blah...
I really gotta hunker down tomorrow though. And there's a mandatory meeting at work on a day I'm not working... BLARGH! Kind of puts a damper on my studying schedule.
I consumed so much unsweetened green tea (and a little bit o' half-and-half coffee) at my house today it was unbelievable... I'm really surprised I haven't attacked my skin after drinking all that caffeine. My mind is feeling fairly positive and clear even though underneath it all, I feel like my whole entire life so far is stupid/retarded. But that's just me. That's how I always feel. I'm a weird, depressed type, funny clown person. A fricking bizarre combination.
My mom and mine's venture out to the library today was breezy though. I found a book for her because she couldn't see very well for some reason. I'm good at navigating those bookshelves and matching those odd number-letter combinations they put on the books. I also re-checked out Harry Potter #7. I'm gonna finish that book DAMMIT. Everything has gotten stalled for a few months now: my photography, photo editing, music, Harry Potter #7, umm... biscotti making/selling... it's pitiful. I loathe myself for it.
I want to thank my mom for offering to buy me a small frozen yogurt at the Golden Spoon, and a venti green tea lemonade at that one place (pfft, I was gonna be all discrete about it, but YES... Starbuck's... it was her idea). I really didn't want another green tea, but I'm like whatever, it's like drinking water anyway. And I want to get SUPER thin... green tea helps with that... so what the hell... I got one.
Gotta go put clean sheets on my waterbeddddd. It's a naked waterbed mattress right now. And I don't wanna sleep on the couch.
Ciao!
pee-ess.
Here is the final photo of that photo I helped my boyfriend with for Mother's Day... 26-year-old self vs. 4-year-old self. I tried to make it look like it was done in a studio as much as possible. I think it turned out pretty ok.
I'm tired and don't feel much like blogging again. But I wanted to let you know... I hardly picked at my skin today. Today was a day for catching up on crap around the house, studying for my final, which... I didn't really accomplish a whole lot. I did feel more positive today than in the past, but now that I've realized today was kind of a lazy day... I'm hating myself. Emailed my paper. That's a plus. Almost done with my laundry. That's a plus. Returned a book to the library ON TIME. That's kewl. Ummm... some other chores... blah blah...
I really gotta hunker down tomorrow though. And there's a mandatory meeting at work on a day I'm not working... BLARGH! Kind of puts a damper on my studying schedule.
I consumed so much unsweetened green tea (and a little bit o' half-and-half coffee) at my house today it was unbelievable... I'm really surprised I haven't attacked my skin after drinking all that caffeine. My mind is feeling fairly positive and clear even though underneath it all, I feel like my whole entire life so far is stupid/retarded. But that's just me. That's how I always feel. I'm a weird, depressed type, funny clown person. A fricking bizarre combination.
My mom and mine's venture out to the library today was breezy though. I found a book for her because she couldn't see very well for some reason. I'm good at navigating those bookshelves and matching those odd number-letter combinations they put on the books. I also re-checked out Harry Potter #7. I'm gonna finish that book DAMMIT. Everything has gotten stalled for a few months now: my photography, photo editing, music, Harry Potter #7, umm... biscotti making/selling... it's pitiful. I loathe myself for it.
I want to thank my mom for offering to buy me a small frozen yogurt at the Golden Spoon, and a venti green tea lemonade at that one place (pfft, I was gonna be all discrete about it, but YES... Starbuck's... it was her idea). I really didn't want another green tea, but I'm like whatever, it's like drinking water anyway. And I want to get SUPER thin... green tea helps with that... so what the hell... I got one.
Gotta go put clean sheets on my waterbeddddd. It's a naked waterbed mattress right now. And I don't wanna sleep on the couch.
Ciao!
pee-ess.
Here is the final photo of that photo I helped my boyfriend with for Mother's Day... 26-year-old self vs. 4-year-old self. I tried to make it look like it was done in a studio as much as possible. I think it turned out pretty ok.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Vulcan Cutie.
Last night after I blogged, I sort of attacked my skin. Agh! I was feeling so tired and 'flimsy' and it just kind of happened. However, today I've been doing pretty good with my skin. No crazy picking episodes. Just my hands occasionally feeling around, trying to find something to pick at... (The skin on my face has been bothering me lately though... I really hope my cleanser is still working...)
Haha, ok. So today I modified a waffle recipe by making Cardamom 'Yogurt' Waffles (with bananas, blueberries, a dollop of sour cream, and maple syrup on top) and a pitcher of unsweetened green tea for my mom. (Actually I made the green tea mostly for myself, but everyone else was still allowed to have some.) After eating our breakfast, we gave her her presents. My dad gave her pretty flowers in two large, colorfully polka-dotted teacup and saucer planters. The planters remind me of the Alice in Wonderland teacup rides in Disneyland. I think my dad said he found them in Wal-Mart (of all places) by accident. As far as my gift... she loved the Starbuck's cup! It's an insolated cup that looks like their normal cups for iced drinks, except this one is made of sturdy polyurethane, or something like that. It also has a sturdy straw. It should last for years. Oh! And I gave her that gift card as well. I put it inside the cup along with some Easter grass for added color.
I saw Star Trek today with my family and boyfriend at the Harkin's Cine Capri at Tempe Marketplace. It was pretty awesome. Young Spock is cute. ;) I kind of think my boyfriend looks like Young Spock, actually. I really think that if my boyfriend had auditioned for Young Spock, he would have nabbed the role. But he's not in the movie so... I want him to be Young Spock for Halloween. :D
After the movie we ate at Great Steak & Potato Company which is also located in the Tempe Marketplace. I ordered something for my boyfriend then disappeared for a few minutes to order something from the next closest thing -- Paradise Bakery -- where I got a veggie sandwich, chocolate chip cookayyy, and an iced soy chai, then I walked back over to join my fam at the steak place. I really think she put milk in my chai though... damn her. (During my recent visit to Wildflower Bread Company, someone put skim instead of soy in my iced soy chai... I definitely yelled at that guy for nixing the soy. :)
Anyway, now I'm home safe and sound. Oh yeah, and I also wanted to mention I quickly did some intense yoga for 30-40 minutes before going to see that movie. I just wanted to make sure I felt confident about wearing jean shortshorts in public. (The shortshorts were worn at my boyfriend's request.)
Hmmm... my boyfriend is here right now at my house, sleeping on my bed. I'm pretty sure he has gas. His stomach is making all sorts of noises. Must be that cheesesteak he ate.
Oh... now he's awake. He's yawning, stretching, staring at me, and he just made a noise that sounded like "ehyithhk" or something...
OMG! He's still staring at me. He DOES look like Young Spock!
:D
Haha, ok. So today I modified a waffle recipe by making Cardamom 'Yogurt' Waffles (with bananas, blueberries, a dollop of sour cream, and maple syrup on top) and a pitcher of unsweetened green tea for my mom. (Actually I made the green tea mostly for myself, but everyone else was still allowed to have some.) After eating our breakfast, we gave her her presents. My dad gave her pretty flowers in two large, colorfully polka-dotted teacup and saucer planters. The planters remind me of the Alice in Wonderland teacup rides in Disneyland. I think my dad said he found them in Wal-Mart (of all places) by accident. As far as my gift... she loved the Starbuck's cup! It's an insolated cup that looks like their normal cups for iced drinks, except this one is made of sturdy polyurethane, or something like that. It also has a sturdy straw. It should last for years. Oh! And I gave her that gift card as well. I put it inside the cup along with some Easter grass for added color.
I saw Star Trek today with my family and boyfriend at the Harkin's Cine Capri at Tempe Marketplace. It was pretty awesome. Young Spock is cute. ;) I kind of think my boyfriend looks like Young Spock, actually. I really think that if my boyfriend had auditioned for Young Spock, he would have nabbed the role. But he's not in the movie so... I want him to be Young Spock for Halloween. :D
After the movie we ate at Great Steak & Potato Company which is also located in the Tempe Marketplace. I ordered something for my boyfriend then disappeared for a few minutes to order something from the next closest thing -- Paradise Bakery -- where I got a veggie sandwich, chocolate chip cookayyy, and an iced soy chai, then I walked back over to join my fam at the steak place. I really think she put milk in my chai though... damn her. (During my recent visit to Wildflower Bread Company, someone put skim instead of soy in my iced soy chai... I definitely yelled at that guy for nixing the soy. :)
Anyway, now I'm home safe and sound. Oh yeah, and I also wanted to mention I quickly did some intense yoga for 30-40 minutes before going to see that movie. I just wanted to make sure I felt confident about wearing jean shortshorts in public. (The shortshorts were worn at my boyfriend's request.)
Hmmm... my boyfriend is here right now at my house, sleeping on my bed. I'm pretty sure he has gas. His stomach is making all sorts of noises. Must be that cheesesteak he ate.
Oh... now he's awake. He's yawning, stretching, staring at me, and he just made a noise that sounded like "ehyithhk" or something...
OMG! He's still staring at me. He DOES look like Young Spock!
:D
Saturday, May 9, 2009
My Name is Bilbo "Don't Feel Like" Bloggins.
today was a fun amusement park ride of a day!
but I don't feel much like blogging about it.
so I shall liiiiissssttt......
-almost late for work...
-boss in trouble...
-unfairness at work...
-cried my eyes out after work...
-wondered when my period will finally get here?...
-i still cried for legit reasons though...
-took photo of my boyfriend posing exactly as he did in a photo of him as a little boy... (his Mother's Day gift to his momma!)
-photoshopped said photo to replicate photo of him as little boy... (the replicated photo looks like a studio photo complete with gray background, light gray carpet, everything... but in reality, the gray background was stolen off google images, and the light gray carpet is a close up of a dirty towel sitting on his rock band guitar stand... his mom's totally gonna think we snuck into Kmart without her seeing us! she works at Kmart, fyi.)
-here is the finished photo! (my boyfriend will be posting the two side by side on Monday)
-where was i?...
-oh yes...
-went to kinko's to get said photo blown up to a frameable size...
-went to starbuck's to get MY mom a gift, goddammit!
-i mean, shiiiit yo...
-anyway, got my mommers that new fangled, rinky dink plastic starbuck's cup (shhh, don't tell my mom 'til i tell her... because then you CAN'T tell her because she would have already been told! ahahaha!!)...
-i figured that she may get her money's worth with that because you get 10 cents off each drink ordered...
-at a whopping $14 for the cup itself, and my mom's average starbuck's visit of 1-3 times per week... i calculated that that cup will pay for itself in 65-85 weeks...
-i also got her a starby's gift card so that she can START getting that damn cup to pay for itself...
-(sorry i cursed at you cup, i didn't mean it... i really do want you for myself... even though you still look kind of cheap and are not worth $14...)
-went to fresh & easy to get supplies for momma day breakfast...
-i miss my boyfriend...
-who me? MISS someone? shiiiiiii-....
-i'll see 'star trek' with boyfriend and my fam tomorrow...
-so i can gladly wait... :)
how's the "stop picking!" skin business going?
like always, i kind of picked at my skin today. mostly here and there on my face. for like a couple seconds each time i did it. my face has a few scabs and feels weird so maybe that's why my hands showed concern for it. i'm also obsessing over whether my face is breaking out more or less... i'm thinking less, but then again, i feel like it's in limbo...
it's so funny, this blog is supposed to be about my skin issues and curing my habit. but i just end up rambling about my day in general. i don't have much to say about skin picking other than what it IS. and what i've done to my skin that day.
this blog would pretty boring if i only talked about my skin. BUT! who's reading this anyway besides my boy toy? no one. no one at all. and if you are reading this... don't tell me.
gooooo.
i'm feeling flail-ish and tired.
night :)
p.s. well, poopsicle. this ended up being an actual blog! shiiiiii...
but I don't feel much like blogging about it.
so I shall liiiiissssttt......
-almost late for work...
-boss in trouble...
-unfairness at work...
-cried my eyes out after work...
-wondered when my period will finally get here?...
-i still cried for legit reasons though...
-took photo of my boyfriend posing exactly as he did in a photo of him as a little boy... (his Mother's Day gift to his momma!)
-photoshopped said photo to replicate photo of him as little boy... (the replicated photo looks like a studio photo complete with gray background, light gray carpet, everything... but in reality, the gray background was stolen off google images, and the light gray carpet is a close up of a dirty towel sitting on his rock band guitar stand... his mom's totally gonna think we snuck into Kmart without her seeing us! she works at Kmart, fyi.)
-here is the finished photo! (my boyfriend will be posting the two side by side on Monday)
-where was i?...
-oh yes...
-went to kinko's to get said photo blown up to a frameable size...
-went to starbuck's to get MY mom a gift, goddammit!
-i mean, shiiiit yo...
-anyway, got my mommers that new fangled, rinky dink plastic starbuck's cup (shhh, don't tell my mom 'til i tell her... because then you CAN'T tell her because she would have already been told! ahahaha!!)...
-i figured that she may get her money's worth with that because you get 10 cents off each drink ordered...
-at a whopping $14 for the cup itself, and my mom's average starbuck's visit of 1-3 times per week... i calculated that that cup will pay for itself in 65-85 weeks...
-i also got her a starby's gift card so that she can START getting that damn cup to pay for itself...
-(sorry i cursed at you cup, i didn't mean it... i really do want you for myself... even though you still look kind of cheap and are not worth $14...)
-went to fresh & easy to get supplies for momma day breakfast...
-i miss my boyfriend...
-who me? MISS someone? shiiiiiii-....
-i'll see 'star trek' with boyfriend and my fam tomorrow...
-so i can gladly wait... :)
how's the "stop picking!" skin business going?
like always, i kind of picked at my skin today. mostly here and there on my face. for like a couple seconds each time i did it. my face has a few scabs and feels weird so maybe that's why my hands showed concern for it. i'm also obsessing over whether my face is breaking out more or less... i'm thinking less, but then again, i feel like it's in limbo...
it's so funny, this blog is supposed to be about my skin issues and curing my habit. but i just end up rambling about my day in general. i don't have much to say about skin picking other than what it IS. and what i've done to my skin that day.
this blog would pretty boring if i only talked about my skin. BUT! who's reading this anyway besides my boy toy? no one. no one at all. and if you are reading this... don't tell me.
gooooo.
i'm feeling flail-ish and tired.
night :)
p.s. well, poopsicle. this ended up being an actual blog! shiiiiii...
Friday, May 8, 2009
Lego Guy Walking.
Not much skin picking today! Although there should have been due to what happened later in the day...
Today started out superb. I was feeling better than I had in the past month. Hopped on the bus, hopped off the bus to get some green tea from Starbuck's, hopped on a different bus (and snuck said green tea onto bus), then arrived near the hospital, walked across the street, and soon walked into class a couple minutes late like always. (I get on the bus an hour and a half before class even starts so that's a bummer... ah well, I do love my sleep since I go to sleep really late.)
Anyway, later on after class, my good day was sort of shattered when I saw various police cars, a firetruck, an ambulance, yellow tape... all in front of my work's building.
My work had money stolen from it in a confrontational way just before I had arrived. Many assume the suspicious man who visited us earlier in the week is to blame. I won't go into anymore detail. I must be as vague as possible. I will say this though... 'stealing of money' has almost doubled all across the United States, maybe even the world. The dwindling economy is most likely to blame.
Onto another subject... shall we?
I was feeling moody the rest of the day at work. Everyone was sort of in a weird, tired, anxietic mood as well.
After work my boyfriend picked me up and I began to snap out of my somber mood. We immediately headed for a fabric store. For his mom's Mother's Day gift, my boyfriend is wanting to recreate an OlanMills studio photo of him as a 4-year-old being all cute and posed with his charming little boy smile. Of course, you get it right? My boyfriend is now 26-years-old and wants to recreate that EXACT pose and smile, not to mention the same background. He will also be wearing similar clothes and will comb his hair the exact same way.
Well, we went to the fabric store and to our amazement... 3 yards of grayish colored fabric costs $10 or more. A silly price for 'cheap fabric' we thought. So I told my boyfriend "I'll photograph you on some light blue fabric I have at home, and then I'll scissor you out and photoshop you onto a background similar to the gray ones in your photo." Good idea, me!! My boyfriend quickly agrees and is elated. He doesn't have to spend money on fabric now, ya see?
My boyfwiend plans to spend Mother's Day with his mom on Monday, instead of Sunday (his mom is working 12 hours that day)... so we do have a bit of extra time to work on this. Actually, I really don't have too much time to work on this with my school finals coming up, and my mom's Mother's Day on Sunday, but yeah... I'm gonna try to help him out.
Because he is a NICE boyfriend, he is.
We'll be doing the photo tomorrow right when I'm off from work.
Mmmm... just had more green tea. I am so thirsty it's ridiculous. I drank 5 cups of tea today. I think I usually drink 1-3 cups. Eh! I should go drink some water for a change. Haven't been drinking liters of water like I used to.
Whatevs!
Sleepy-bye-night-night!
(Goodnight.)
p.s. I depicted the event that happened at work today in Lego form. In MS Paint (that's all we have at work), I simply drew a walking Lego guy that sort of resembled the grainy photos of the suspicious man who took what wasn't his. I drew him walking toward a sign that said 'Hello, Mr. Obvious'. Then I deleted the drawing. For a moment, it was a lighthearted way of dealing with what had happened earlier, I guess. And maybe finding some comedy in it.
Today started out superb. I was feeling better than I had in the past month. Hopped on the bus, hopped off the bus to get some green tea from Starbuck's, hopped on a different bus (and snuck said green tea onto bus), then arrived near the hospital, walked across the street, and soon walked into class a couple minutes late like always. (I get on the bus an hour and a half before class even starts so that's a bummer... ah well, I do love my sleep since I go to sleep really late.)
Anyway, later on after class, my good day was sort of shattered when I saw various police cars, a firetruck, an ambulance, yellow tape... all in front of my work's building.
My work had money stolen from it in a confrontational way just before I had arrived. Many assume the suspicious man who visited us earlier in the week is to blame. I won't go into anymore detail. I must be as vague as possible. I will say this though... 'stealing of money' has almost doubled all across the United States, maybe even the world. The dwindling economy is most likely to blame.
Onto another subject... shall we?
I was feeling moody the rest of the day at work. Everyone was sort of in a weird, tired, anxietic mood as well.
After work my boyfriend picked me up and I began to snap out of my somber mood. We immediately headed for a fabric store. For his mom's Mother's Day gift, my boyfriend is wanting to recreate an OlanMills studio photo of him as a 4-year-old being all cute and posed with his charming little boy smile. Of course, you get it right? My boyfriend is now 26-years-old and wants to recreate that EXACT pose and smile, not to mention the same background. He will also be wearing similar clothes and will comb his hair the exact same way.
Well, we went to the fabric store and to our amazement... 3 yards of grayish colored fabric costs $10 or more. A silly price for 'cheap fabric' we thought. So I told my boyfriend "I'll photograph you on some light blue fabric I have at home, and then I'll scissor you out and photoshop you onto a background similar to the gray ones in your photo." Good idea, me!! My boyfriend quickly agrees and is elated. He doesn't have to spend money on fabric now, ya see?
My boyfwiend plans to spend Mother's Day with his mom on Monday, instead of Sunday (his mom is working 12 hours that day)... so we do have a bit of extra time to work on this. Actually, I really don't have too much time to work on this with my school finals coming up, and my mom's Mother's Day on Sunday, but yeah... I'm gonna try to help him out.
Because he is a NICE boyfriend, he is.
We'll be doing the photo tomorrow right when I'm off from work.
Mmmm... just had more green tea. I am so thirsty it's ridiculous. I drank 5 cups of tea today. I think I usually drink 1-3 cups. Eh! I should go drink some water for a change. Haven't been drinking liters of water like I used to.
Whatevs!
Sleepy-bye-night-night!
(Goodnight.)
p.s. I depicted the event that happened at work today in Lego form. In MS Paint (that's all we have at work), I simply drew a walking Lego guy that sort of resembled the grainy photos of the suspicious man who took what wasn't his. I drew him walking toward a sign that said 'Hello, Mr. Obvious'. Then I deleted the drawing. For a moment, it was a lighthearted way of dealing with what had happened earlier, I guess. And maybe finding some comedy in it.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Pressed for Tick Tocks.
I screwed up kinda, sorta significantly today as far as skin picking goes. But hey, I still had a good day. Ironically, I'm still making great strides and improvements in my skin picking episodes. I could have stopped the mini-picking episode that happened tonight, but didn't. It's weird, your mind is telling you to stop, pleading with you to stop... but you just don't. It's so odd.
In any case, I did damage, but not as much as before I started blogging. And although it may be hard to comprehend my logic in this, I'm fine with it. Life is full of weird mistakes. But in the end, I see myself curing this skin picking madness of mine.
Now... Off to finish my LAST and FINAL presentation for Intro to Theatre! I have lots of video clips to show because... trying to define theatre movements such as dada, happenings, and performance art in words is a little bit difficult.
I guess I can sum them up like this:
Dada = very illogical, chaotic, random noises/voices, out of key music, madness
Happenings = involves the audience in the creation of art; happens anywhere/anytime/anyplace; no right or wrong way of 'making it happen'
Performance Art = live art, but is not theatre; related to conceptual art; experimental/avant garde/challenges status quo*; limitless in possibilities
*all of them challenge the status quo actually -- in varying degrees
Dada and Happenings began in the 1950s and earlier. They basically fed the artistic expression that is Performance Art. Multimedia and Futurism did too as well, but I won't really be going into those in my presentation though they are interesting reads.
Nevertheless, all of these art forms remind me of 'hippie art'. You know... that era of freedom, love, and war protest. 'Protest art'! That's the term I was looking for. :)
But all art no matter what form it is in, can be a form of protest and make a statement.
OK, so for REALS now... I'm off to finish the conclusion of this presentation! I kind of work backwards... I create the presentation, then create the outline, then the bibliography. What can I say, I procrastinate and now I'm super pressed for time!
Not that doing it in that order is any faster, but it works ME! :)
In any case, I did damage, but not as much as before I started blogging. And although it may be hard to comprehend my logic in this, I'm fine with it. Life is full of weird mistakes. But in the end, I see myself curing this skin picking madness of mine.
Now... Off to finish my LAST and FINAL presentation for Intro to Theatre! I have lots of video clips to show because... trying to define theatre movements such as dada, happenings, and performance art in words is a little bit difficult.
I guess I can sum them up like this:
Dada = very illogical, chaotic, random noises/voices, out of key music, madness
Happenings = involves the audience in the creation of art; happens anywhere/anytime/anyplace; no right or wrong way of 'making it happen'
Performance Art = live art, but is not theatre; related to conceptual art; experimental/avant garde/challenges status quo*; limitless in possibilities
*all of them challenge the status quo actually -- in varying degrees
Dada and Happenings began in the 1950s and earlier. They basically fed the artistic expression that is Performance Art. Multimedia and Futurism did too as well, but I won't really be going into those in my presentation though they are interesting reads.
Nevertheless, all of these art forms remind me of 'hippie art'. You know... that era of freedom, love, and war protest. 'Protest art'! That's the term I was looking for. :)
But all art no matter what form it is in, can be a form of protest and make a statement.
OK, so for REALS now... I'm off to finish the conclusion of this presentation! I kind of work backwards... I create the presentation, then create the outline, then the bibliography. What can I say, I procrastinate and now I'm super pressed for time!
Not that doing it in that order is any faster, but it works ME! :)
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Killer.
Yeah, like I said before... No one reads these blogggs. And that's how I like it.
Well, anyway, let's start with the age old question... Did I pick my skin today?
Hmmm...
I will answer that with another question...
Does a little picking count as actual picking?
Ha. That was dumb. Dumb ol' me. O' course it counts.
But I didn't pick anymore than the average person would. Umm... do average people without skin picking problems pick their skin more than us dermatillomaniacs? Tricky question. I believe we all pick at our skin sometimes --- The classic huge pimple on muh face... gotta get rid of it 'cuz I gots a hot date goddammit!!!!!! Or the classic huge pimple on buttocks... BUT... we won't go there (it doesn't happen to me, I've just heard urban legends about it... from... other.... peop...le...with buttock pimp...le's...)
Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah... legEonds.
Agh, whatever. Let's move on.
Today I went to school. *applause*
And I attempted to give my presentation on a scene I did in a school play recently. And... it didn't work. *applause ? ??*
The classroom's DVD player was being retarded and completely ruined my presentation. I was gonna show a scene from the play I was in. So what did I do? I gave the damned presentation anyway. By... acting out all three parts at once.
I kidd.
I can do that. But didn't do that, ya know? I only had 5 minutes to give a 20 minute presentation, afterall.
Anyway, I think it went well.
I also worked today... mmmmm, worrrrrrrkkkkk.
I kidd.
Blehhh, petuie, ewwie, sick, barf barf, die.
Hmmmm...
I decided that even though I have SOOO frigging much to do, I would go see the Actor's Showcase at my school. (If I have so much to do, why the hell am I blogging? Oh right... THERRRRRAPYYYYY. :)
Well, where was I... oh... yes... The Actor's Show-to-the-Case.
Ah, The Actor's Showcase. Put together and performed by theatre students at my school (not including I this time... womp womp, ha ha). At first, I thought it was gonna be a bunch of one-act plays like it normally is (but if that's the case, it's usually called a "director's showcase"). I was heart-attackingly elated to find this was not the case this time.
The program included not only 3 HILARIOUS one-act plays written by students, but also... a standup comedian (who is in my theatre class), my school's improv troupe (taking audience character suggestions and improvising scenes from them), a real-live sword fighting scene from The Three Musketeer's, and various other scenes that had us all flipping over in our chairs with laughter or tears, whichever (that is, if our chairs were not mounted to the floor).
The last one-act of the entire show was so very ridiculously funny. It was written by a student at my school and improv trouper named KJ Samora. The play was called "Hello, I'm Evil" and it's like an AA Meeting, except it's a meeting in which everyone admits how evil they are. Each character also shares a common nemesis of whom they live in constant fear of (the nemesis's name happens to be 'Captain Pilot'). Of course, a seemingly normal man who has alcohol problems shows up, but is disgruntled when everyone at the meeting is tries to persuade him to admit he is evil. Michelle Luz casted and directed it and did a great job. The actors were so awesome, as well. UGH!... I wish I could post a clip of it on YouTube or something. If I had you know, recorded it with a CAM-ERRR-RAAAA and shit --- especially the scene in which Billy (who is supposed to be a wannabe 'God' with anger management issues and is of course tormented by 'Captain Pilot') arrives at the meeting and heads straight for the snack table. Upon finding the Oreo's missing amongst the full cups of water, he gives one swipe of his arm across the table, and screams "WHO ATE ALL THE OREO'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cups and water go flying everywhere. It was killer.
It was a nice day all in all though. Truly.
p.s. I found out my work almost got 'taken' yesterday, but my co-worker's awesome tactics scared the person off -- TWICE, in fact. She didn't know he was a robber though. She was just busy helping a co-worker with something, so she did a shoo'ing motion with her hand, and told the guy to wait --- yes! TWICE! He got pretty super discouraged, and said "Aw, shucks!" and ran off with his tail between his legs. Then came back 5 minutes later, got all puppy-ish again and yelped away in sadness. No $ for YOU!
K, I made that last part up. He did get discouraged and leave though, then repeated it once more.
Three of our locations have already been 'stolen from' in less than one month. It's pretty (not) dope.
Well, anyway, let's start with the age old question... Did I pick my skin today?
Hmmm...
I will answer that with another question...
Does a little picking count as actual picking?
Ha. That was dumb. Dumb ol' me. O' course it counts.
But I didn't pick anymore than the average person would. Umm... do average people without skin picking problems pick their skin more than us dermatillomaniacs? Tricky question. I believe we all pick at our skin sometimes --- The classic huge pimple on muh face... gotta get rid of it 'cuz I gots a hot date goddammit!!!!!! Or the classic huge pimple on buttocks... BUT... we won't go there (it doesn't happen to me, I've just heard urban legends about it... from... other.... peop...le...with buttock pimp...le's...)
Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah... legEonds.
Agh, whatever. Let's move on.
Today I went to school. *applause*
And I attempted to give my presentation on a scene I did in a school play recently. And... it didn't work. *applause ? ??*
The classroom's DVD player was being retarded and completely ruined my presentation. I was gonna show a scene from the play I was in. So what did I do? I gave the damned presentation anyway. By... acting out all three parts at once.
I kidd.
I can do that. But didn't do that, ya know? I only had 5 minutes to give a 20 minute presentation, afterall.
Anyway, I think it went well.
I also worked today... mmmmm, worrrrrrrkkkkk.
I kidd.
Blehhh, petuie, ewwie, sick, barf barf, die.
Hmmmm...
I decided that even though I have SOOO frigging much to do, I would go see the Actor's Showcase at my school. (If I have so much to do, why the hell am I blogging? Oh right... THERRRRRAPYYYYY. :)
Well, where was I... oh... yes... The Actor's Show-to-the-Case.
Ah, The Actor's Showcase. Put together and performed by theatre students at my school (not including I this time... womp womp, ha ha). At first, I thought it was gonna be a bunch of one-act plays like it normally is (but if that's the case, it's usually called a "director's showcase"). I was heart-attackingly elated to find this was not the case this time.
The program included not only 3 HILARIOUS one-act plays written by students, but also... a standup comedian (who is in my theatre class), my school's improv troupe (taking audience character suggestions and improvising scenes from them), a real-live sword fighting scene from The Three Musketeer's, and various other scenes that had us all flipping over in our chairs with laughter or tears, whichever (that is, if our chairs were not mounted to the floor).
The last one-act of the entire show was so very ridiculously funny. It was written by a student at my school and improv trouper named KJ Samora. The play was called "Hello, I'm Evil" and it's like an AA Meeting, except it's a meeting in which everyone admits how evil they are. Each character also shares a common nemesis of whom they live in constant fear of (the nemesis's name happens to be 'Captain Pilot'). Of course, a seemingly normal man who has alcohol problems shows up, but is disgruntled when everyone at the meeting is tries to persuade him to admit he is evil. Michelle Luz casted and directed it and did a great job. The actors were so awesome, as well. UGH!... I wish I could post a clip of it on YouTube or something. If I had you know, recorded it with a CAM-ERRR-RAAAA and shit --- especially the scene in which Billy (who is supposed to be a wannabe 'God' with anger management issues and is of course tormented by 'Captain Pilot') arrives at the meeting and heads straight for the snack table. Upon finding the Oreo's missing amongst the full cups of water, he gives one swipe of his arm across the table, and screams "WHO ATE ALL THE OREO'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cups and water go flying everywhere. It was killer.
It was a nice day all in all though. Truly.
p.s. I found out my work almost got 'taken' yesterday, but my co-worker's awesome tactics scared the person off -- TWICE, in fact. She didn't know he was a robber though. She was just busy helping a co-worker with something, so she did a shoo'ing motion with her hand, and told the guy to wait --- yes! TWICE! He got pretty super discouraged, and said "Aw, shucks!" and ran off with his tail between his legs. Then came back 5 minutes later, got all puppy-ish again and yelped away in sadness. No $ for YOU!
K, I made that last part up. He did get discouraged and leave though, then repeated it once more.
Three of our locations have already been 'stolen from' in less than one month. It's pretty (not) dope.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Chocolate-Covered Brownie.
Today was good. :)
I will list everything that happened:
-Finished preparing for presentation on my scene in the play, Baby with the Bathwater, for Intro to Theatre
-Started preparing for my final and LAST presentation, which will be about Performance Art
-Did one hour yoga DVD, then random pilates moves from memory (I should have just done my pilates DVD since I did random moves for the same amount of time as the DVD, pfft)
-Showered! :)
-Did muh hair, makeup, etc.
-Took care of the dogs, played with them, fed them, yelled at them, whatever. They always just stare at you. One of them barks for no reason. They're cute. And obnoxious. :)
-Got picked up by my boyfriend to go to an academic awards ceremony at my college
-We left way too early for the awards thingy-muh-bob so we went to Starbuck's to hang out, and get green tea's and take photos while making faces with our green tea's (which I didn't even know my bf liked green tea... I was floored when he ordered one... I almost died in amazement)
-Finally went to awards show at my college
-There many tiny, appetizer, fancy desserts there
-Went on stage to get my award for my 'acting contributions to the theatre department'
-...Only to find out, I will receive my actual theatre award two weekends from now at the Theatre Department Oscars/End of Year Party/Lyn's Retirement Party (Lyn is the head of my college's Theatre Department and a black belt... I'm not sure, but she looks to be in her 60s or 70s... she is hipper than hip, radder than rad!)
-Went to Taco Bell where I got two bean soft taco's
Well that's about it!
As far as my skinny skin skin... I used my fun Intel stress ball like crazy while finishing my presentation on my computer. It has a crazy shape too. It is comprised of jail bars --- thick rubbery looking jail bars -- all around it. Anyway, it worked! I also bit it a lot because it's fun. Awww, but tonight on the way home, I bit my lip a few times. :/
I've figured out that I need to not let myself get too too bored. Everyday I need to accomplish something sort of significant. And workout or do yoga... something like that. Otherwise, I get depressed easily and try to fidget with my skin. Yoga and pilates are helping me to focus on breathing, which is great. If I just breathe deep, it helps me avoid my skin.
And it's not like I didn't already know this. I have too much energy that just gets locked up inside my bod. Too much locked up energy can make a person dull if they feel something is preventing them from letting it out. So I need to make sure I feel like my life is worth something and accomplish something arsty, or choresy everyday... so that I avoid releasing the pent up energy on my poor skin.
Hmm, hope that makes sense. Oh well. No one reads this anyway.
I will list everything that happened:
-Finished preparing for presentation on my scene in the play, Baby with the Bathwater, for Intro to Theatre
-Started preparing for my final and LAST presentation, which will be about Performance Art
-Did one hour yoga DVD, then random pilates moves from memory (I should have just done my pilates DVD since I did random moves for the same amount of time as the DVD, pfft)
-Showered! :)
-Did muh hair, makeup, etc.
-Took care of the dogs, played with them, fed them, yelled at them, whatever. They always just stare at you. One of them barks for no reason. They're cute. And obnoxious. :)
-Got picked up by my boyfriend to go to an academic awards ceremony at my college
-We left way too early for the awards thingy-muh-bob so we went to Starbuck's to hang out, and get green tea's and take photos while making faces with our green tea's (which I didn't even know my bf liked green tea... I was floored when he ordered one... I almost died in amazement)
-Finally went to awards show at my college
-There many tiny, appetizer, fancy desserts there
-Went on stage to get my award for my 'acting contributions to the theatre department'
-...Only to find out, I will receive my actual theatre award two weekends from now at the Theatre Department Oscars/End of Year Party/Lyn's Retirement Party (Lyn is the head of my college's Theatre Department and a black belt... I'm not sure, but she looks to be in her 60s or 70s... she is hipper than hip, radder than rad!)
-Went to Taco Bell where I got two bean soft taco's
Well that's about it!
As far as my skinny skin skin... I used my fun Intel stress ball like crazy while finishing my presentation on my computer. It has a crazy shape too. It is comprised of jail bars --- thick rubbery looking jail bars -- all around it. Anyway, it worked! I also bit it a lot because it's fun. Awww, but tonight on the way home, I bit my lip a few times. :/
I've figured out that I need to not let myself get too too bored. Everyday I need to accomplish something sort of significant. And workout or do yoga... something like that. Otherwise, I get depressed easily and try to fidget with my skin. Yoga and pilates are helping me to focus on breathing, which is great. If I just breathe deep, it helps me avoid my skin.
And it's not like I didn't already know this. I have too much energy that just gets locked up inside my bod. Too much locked up energy can make a person dull if they feel something is preventing them from letting it out. So I need to make sure I feel like my life is worth something and accomplish something arsty, or choresy everyday... so that I avoid releasing the pent up energy on my poor skin.
Hmm, hope that makes sense. Oh well. No one reads this anyway.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Slap.
Today is already a failure, so I might as well blog about it now.
I'm feeling really depressed today. I tried not to let my boyfriend see when he came over to my house to use my computer (an application he needed to fill out could only be filled out on a Windows operating system, not Mac OSX). Didn't wanna worry him, but he's gonna read this anyway and won't be surprised one bit. I'm a roller coaster at times.
Anyway, after he left, I just continued to feel sad and miserable for an hour. Then soon found myself picking at this one part of my skin until it hurt really bad. Then I cried. um, LOL.
Yay... :/
At least when I do pick my skeeen, it's starting to hurt more than it usually does. My threshold for pain is decreasing. Woo.
But maybe I'm not making progress at all?
I mean, that IS how it's been for the past year. I'll do good at avoiding major damage to my skin for 1-3 days then... I give in. And open wounds that were almost healed. I hate myself SO much. I'm making myself ugly. It sucks. Why was I born this way? To write about it? SHIIIIIIT.
I'm just feeling so withdrawn from everything right now (more than usual). The school year is ending and I'm just stressed and confused. There is so much going on; so much that needs to get done before next week. And I stay paralyzed not knowing how to go about it (well, I spend more time thinking than actually doing). I'm so afraid to fail majorly. Ugh.
Also, today I had to give up my 'dream and vision' of editing this one girl's senior photos from a photoshoot I did with her back in mid-March. I'm not too happy about that. It really bums me out. I could just tell her no. But she has been waiting forever. And it's not like I didn't tell her when I would find time to edit them, you know? Whatever. I'm zip filing all 400 photos to her. So take that, you lousy Beep.
(No, I wasn't gonna edit all 400... just the 25 or so that were undeniably GOOD.)
Seriously though, this is all a big slap in the face. I feel so... I don't know... this might be the wrong term, but... disrespected, I guess. I don't expect respect, but that word seems to fit...
Ack. I'm mostly just mad at myself.
I feel guilty. My life really is blessed. But even on good days, I feel so distant and not well. Must be the hot weather setting in. Summer is depressing.
I'm feeling really depressed today. I tried not to let my boyfriend see when he came over to my house to use my computer (an application he needed to fill out could only be filled out on a Windows operating system, not Mac OSX). Didn't wanna worry him, but he's gonna read this anyway and won't be surprised one bit. I'm a roller coaster at times.
Anyway, after he left, I just continued to feel sad and miserable for an hour. Then soon found myself picking at this one part of my skin until it hurt really bad. Then I cried. um, LOL.
Yay... :/
At least when I do pick my skeeen, it's starting to hurt more than it usually does. My threshold for pain is decreasing. Woo.
But maybe I'm not making progress at all?
I mean, that IS how it's been for the past year. I'll do good at avoiding major damage to my skin for 1-3 days then... I give in. And open wounds that were almost healed. I hate myself SO much. I'm making myself ugly. It sucks. Why was I born this way? To write about it? SHIIIIIIT.
I'm just feeling so withdrawn from everything right now (more than usual). The school year is ending and I'm just stressed and confused. There is so much going on; so much that needs to get done before next week. And I stay paralyzed not knowing how to go about it (well, I spend more time thinking than actually doing). I'm so afraid to fail majorly. Ugh.
Also, today I had to give up my 'dream and vision' of editing this one girl's senior photos from a photoshoot I did with her back in mid-March. I'm not too happy about that. It really bums me out. I could just tell her no. But she has been waiting forever. And it's not like I didn't tell her when I would find time to edit them, you know? Whatever. I'm zip filing all 400 photos to her. So take that, you lousy Beep.
(No, I wasn't gonna edit all 400... just the 25 or so that were undeniably GOOD.)
Seriously though, this is all a big slap in the face. I feel so... I don't know... this might be the wrong term, but... disrespected, I guess. I don't expect respect, but that word seems to fit...
Ack. I'm mostly just mad at myself.
I feel guilty. My life really is blessed. But even on good days, I feel so distant and not well. Must be the hot weather setting in. Summer is depressing.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Electrocute!
Fifth day of pretending I'm skinless...
Today was pretty laid-back; kind of like yesterday.
My hands meandered on my skin a few times. And I attempted to pick at one or two things on my face every once in awhile throughout the day. Other than that, no significant trauma done. I really think I am improving. I'm feeling optimistic about it.
Hung out with my boyfriend in the afternoon/evening today. We did a photo shoot of me in a bathtub full of water and bubbles (my boyfriend's lighting equipment was in the bathroom too; I was so scared it was gonna crash into the water filled tub I was in). I looked a little like Severus Snape because of my haircolor and the way my hair was done. Yup, I looked pretty evil in the photo for sure. Pretty crweepy. I was just helping my boyfriend with his 365 Flickr photo project so I didn't mind looking weird. ;)
Gosh, can't wait to continue my 365 Flickr photo project this summer. It got halted due to other stresses going on. I wanted to decrease as much anxiety as I could. Though I feel pretty bad for stopping. I'm sure I would have ripped up my skin even more if I had continued? Hard to say... :)
Anywho. My boyfriend and I watched Donnie Darko tonight. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend was getting bored with it, and it's not like I didn't expect it (he had me scratching his back and arms --- he never has me do that when we're watching something he's interested in). He's used to action movies and straight comedies that are, I guess, obvious? I really like those kinds of movies too, but I also really like off-the-wall, complex ones. Mysterious ones that make you ponder life and our existence. Plus, it has a creative plot. I don't really like critics, but the critic reviews of the movie are great. The movie uses so many literary devices, it's amazing (e.g. symbolism, allegory, irony, motif, mood, paradox, personification, tragic flaw, and so on). Maybe you have to be someone who has contemplated being an English major to understand/appreciate this movie? Haha, who knows.
I watched the Director's Cut second DVD disc last night and watched the chapter entitled "'They Made Me Do It'-- The Cult of Donnie Darko" and found something interesting. According to the English Donnie Darko fans / theatre-goers, the English understand complex movies better than we Americans do. Well, I tend to agree. This is a not a new concept, but average Americans are used to being spoon fed all that is obvious and put right out there in front of them. Movies that they have to take more time to think about are not worth their time it seems. Not that I'm really any different, but if you wonder why you are one of those people who likes to unravel plots and hidden meanings behind movies... then maybe you're not American? Or your mind is just far too complex for the rest of the Plane Jane, zombie American thinkers?
In any case, we all have different view points and different ideas to offer the world. I can respect that. We only over-analyze what we are naturally drawn to. We seem only willing to stretch our minds, understand, and learn what we somewhat already relate to.
Anyway, enough jibba' jabba'!! (Mr. T anyone?)
I think I should go to bed. Mmmm, that soy ice cream was delish. Thanks boyfriend for driving me to the store to get some on the way home! Grateful I am.
:)
p.s. I'm definitely gonna have my boyfriend scratch my back and arms when we're watching a movie that he cares about deeply. Haha! CHUT UP!
Today was pretty laid-back; kind of like yesterday.
My hands meandered on my skin a few times. And I attempted to pick at one or two things on my face every once in awhile throughout the day. Other than that, no significant trauma done. I really think I am improving. I'm feeling optimistic about it.
Hung out with my boyfriend in the afternoon/evening today. We did a photo shoot of me in a bathtub full of water and bubbles (my boyfriend's lighting equipment was in the bathroom too; I was so scared it was gonna crash into the water filled tub I was in). I looked a little like Severus Snape because of my haircolor and the way my hair was done. Yup, I looked pretty evil in the photo for sure. Pretty crweepy. I was just helping my boyfriend with his 365 Flickr photo project so I didn't mind looking weird. ;)
Gosh, can't wait to continue my 365 Flickr photo project this summer. It got halted due to other stresses going on. I wanted to decrease as much anxiety as I could. Though I feel pretty bad for stopping. I'm sure I would have ripped up my skin even more if I had continued? Hard to say... :)
Anywho. My boyfriend and I watched Donnie Darko tonight. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend was getting bored with it, and it's not like I didn't expect it (he had me scratching his back and arms --- he never has me do that when we're watching something he's interested in). He's used to action movies and straight comedies that are, I guess, obvious? I really like those kinds of movies too, but I also really like off-the-wall, complex ones. Mysterious ones that make you ponder life and our existence. Plus, it has a creative plot. I don't really like critics, but the critic reviews of the movie are great. The movie uses so many literary devices, it's amazing (e.g. symbolism, allegory, irony, motif, mood, paradox, personification, tragic flaw, and so on). Maybe you have to be someone who has contemplated being an English major to understand/appreciate this movie? Haha, who knows.
I watched the Director's Cut second DVD disc last night and watched the chapter entitled "'They Made Me Do It'-- The Cult of Donnie Darko" and found something interesting. According to the English Donnie Darko fans / theatre-goers, the English understand complex movies better than we Americans do. Well, I tend to agree. This is a not a new concept, but average Americans are used to being spoon fed all that is obvious and put right out there in front of them. Movies that they have to take more time to think about are not worth their time it seems. Not that I'm really any different, but if you wonder why you are one of those people who likes to unravel plots and hidden meanings behind movies... then maybe you're not American? Or your mind is just far too complex for the rest of the Plane Jane, zombie American thinkers?
In any case, we all have different view points and different ideas to offer the world. I can respect that. We only over-analyze what we are naturally drawn to. We seem only willing to stretch our minds, understand, and learn what we somewhat already relate to.
Anyway, enough jibba' jabba'!! (Mr. T anyone?)
I think I should go to bed. Mmmm, that soy ice cream was delish. Thanks boyfriend for driving me to the store to get some on the way home! Grateful I am.
:)
p.s. I'm definitely gonna have my boyfriend scratch my back and arms when we're watching a movie that he cares about deeply. Haha! CHUT UP!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Go Home.
Fourth day of trying to pretend my skin isn't there...
Today was pretty awesome. Went to work, worked out after work, went home, did some chores at home I've gotten behind on because I'm hardly home. (However, I neglected the chores I've REALLY been neglecting lately, haha.)
At work, I read half a chapter in my textbook. And while reading, my hands were at it again--- feeling up my skin. But today, it wasn't too bad actually. I had my hands play with pens, my water bottle, my coffee/tea mug, whenever I could to keep them 'busy'. I noticed a tiny decrease in my hand movement, which is awesome. But I still bit and picked my lips a little. Gotta work on that...
(Oh and last night's last-minute blog? Well... It got kind of worse after that. :/ Bleh! What can ya do? Just gotta stay positive despite the setbacks...)
Moving on... Tonight has been good! Didn't hang with my boyfriend like I usually do on Saturday nights, but before evening arrived, I watched Donnie Darko for the first time in my life with my brother and his girlfriend (his girlfriend is pretty much a DD novice). My brother bought it today for some unexplained reason. It's on my list of movies I've been meaning to see (I had only seen a 20 second clip of DD back in 2004). I just don't watch a lot of tv or movies like I did as a youngster and teenager... so I'm proud of myself for sitting down long enough to enjoy a movie. Woo!
Anyway, I'm now alone in the house with my 3 quirky Weimaraner dogs, so I'm watching DD for the second time. I meant to watch the DVD's extra features, but just ended up watching it all over again. Ha! I love movies that make you ponder for hours, days, or years... :) (I definitely still have a couple unanswered questions about this movie.)
Needless to say... Donnie Darko is easily near the top of my favorite movies list. I love his character altogether. It's easy to relate to, moping about through life, I know many people probably feel that way. I love all the literary devices used in it. And the reference to 'deus ex machina'... Theatre terms are great.
Can't wait for my boyfriend to watch this movie. He watches movies to no end, but he hasn't seen this one. I was astonished. Well, I guess he's more a fan of the comedy genre (which I am too), so he may not be too quick to pick out this one on his own. Oh, he's just gonna LOVE the attempted masturbation scene and the fact that Seth Rogen is in it. Seriously! ;)
Alrighty then. Goodnight. May I not mess up my skin before we meet again tomorrow. night.
Today was pretty awesome. Went to work, worked out after work, went home, did some chores at home I've gotten behind on because I'm hardly home. (However, I neglected the chores I've REALLY been neglecting lately, haha.)
At work, I read half a chapter in my textbook. And while reading, my hands were at it again--- feeling up my skin. But today, it wasn't too bad actually. I had my hands play with pens, my water bottle, my coffee/tea mug, whenever I could to keep them 'busy'. I noticed a tiny decrease in my hand movement, which is awesome. But I still bit and picked my lips a little. Gotta work on that...
(Oh and last night's last-minute blog? Well... It got kind of worse after that. :/ Bleh! What can ya do? Just gotta stay positive despite the setbacks...)
Moving on... Tonight has been good! Didn't hang with my boyfriend like I usually do on Saturday nights, but before evening arrived, I watched Donnie Darko for the first time in my life with my brother and his girlfriend (his girlfriend is pretty much a DD novice). My brother bought it today for some unexplained reason. It's on my list of movies I've been meaning to see (I had only seen a 20 second clip of DD back in 2004). I just don't watch a lot of tv or movies like I did as a youngster and teenager... so I'm proud of myself for sitting down long enough to enjoy a movie. Woo!
Anyway, I'm now alone in the house with my 3 quirky Weimaraner dogs, so I'm watching DD for the second time. I meant to watch the DVD's extra features, but just ended up watching it all over again. Ha! I love movies that make you ponder for hours, days, or years... :) (I definitely still have a couple unanswered questions about this movie.)
Needless to say... Donnie Darko is easily near the top of my favorite movies list. I love his character altogether. It's easy to relate to, moping about through life, I know many people probably feel that way. I love all the literary devices used in it. And the reference to 'deus ex machina'... Theatre terms are great.
Can't wait for my boyfriend to watch this movie. He watches movies to no end, but he hasn't seen this one. I was astonished. Well, I guess he's more a fan of the comedy genre (which I am too), so he may not be too quick to pick out this one on his own. Oh, he's just gonna LOVE the attempted masturbation scene and the fact that Seth Rogen is in it. Seriously! ;)
Alrighty then. Goodnight. May I not mess up my skin before we meet again tomorrow. night.
I Am Dumb.
FUCK ME.
I slipped up a bit just now. Not too too much, but enough for it to count as a fucking slip up.
SHIT.
I opened up some old wounds.
My mind + late nights = NO BUENOOOOOO.
I gotta stop overthinking so much and stressing over shit.
Actually, I'm not really stressing. But subconsciously, I am. I know it.
Take your makeup off, wash your face, floss, brush your teeth... in whatever order. I don't care. Just DO IT.
And get your ass to bed.
You have to be awake in 5 fucking hours for work.
p.s. I should rename this blog "when the bloody hell CAN I breathe??"
I slipped up a bit just now. Not too too much, but enough for it to count as a fucking slip up.
SHIT.
I opened up some old wounds.
My mind + late nights = NO BUENOOOOOO.
I gotta stop overthinking so much and stressing over shit.
Actually, I'm not really stressing. But subconsciously, I am. I know it.
Take your makeup off, wash your face, floss, brush your teeth... in whatever order. I don't care. Just DO IT.
And get your ass to bed.
You have to be awake in 5 fucking hours for work.
p.s. I should rename this blog "when the bloody hell CAN I breathe??"
Friday, May 1, 2009
School, Work, Play!
Third day of trying to keep my hands OFF myself!
Went to school today. After school, hung out at Starbuck's inside the Targét that's right across the street from that other free-standing Starbuck's by my school. My school has 3 Starbuck's within walking distance of it. Not to mention 2 indie coffee shops on campus. It's literally awesome and excessive all at the same time.
Well, anyway, walked there around 11:15AM to grab an iced soy chai for breakfast. And so I could study. I read 1 chapter (30 pages) of my textbook. I was amazed. Small accomplishments (no matter how pointless they seem) are cool. I also listened to some foreigners yapping at a table a little ways from my table. I couldn't decide if they were English or Australian or somewhere in between. They had a bit of a Cockney flair to their accents... I'm pretty sure they were from somewhere near Antarctica.
Then I hopped on the bus to work. Work was busy as all hell when I arrived (and until closing). Didn't get any homework done there for sure. But it was fine. I had fun. My co-worker was freaking out because of how busy it was though. I swear she looked like she was about to faint and go into a coma.
I know how she feels.
After work, I went to see a play! Actually, I ushered it. So that I could get extra credit for my theatre class AND see the show for free. I wish I would have taken a cell phone photo of the set. It was amazing. Two stories high. Looked like a real house with cutaways on the sides. I'm sure photos are on the internet somewhere. They always are. Maybe I'll post one.
Had to leave the show 10 minutes early though to catch the bloody bus. My theatre comrades were very brilliant though. I enjoyed it. I almost cried damn near cried 30 times and laughed 3 times that amount... it was so good.
Anyway, what about my skin? Well, the hands did a little damage. I really can't sit still and read for very long without my retarded hands feeling around my arms or neck or whatever. Bit my lips a little too. But no major 'picking episodes' yet. So I'm happy about that.
It's hard to be perfect at anything. I should just stop thinking about trying to be PERFECT. If I'm too perfect and restrictive, it'll all just blow up in my face one isolated night in the future. Rehab is not easy. Trying not to be TOO perfect at this might the key to getting cured. But yet if I don't--- If I don't think about how I made a promise myself to keep a clean report card regarding my 'skin murdering' behavior, then I might not get better.
Me thinking about how I will have to blog and be truthful with myself is helping me be more aware of what my hands do. I really feel I cannot let myself slip up, not even once. Because I will have to blog about HOW and WHY I slipped up. Then again, that's how you learn. Grr.
I mean, if I slip up once, and blow it off as no big deal in a blog... I'm deathly afraid it's bound to happen again. And again. And ugh, AGAIN.
...For all eternity.
And it hurts way too much for me to bare it that long.
Went to school today. After school, hung out at Starbuck's inside the Targét that's right across the street from that other free-standing Starbuck's by my school. My school has 3 Starbuck's within walking distance of it. Not to mention 2 indie coffee shops on campus. It's literally awesome and excessive all at the same time.
Well, anyway, walked there around 11:15AM to grab an iced soy chai for breakfast. And so I could study. I read 1 chapter (30 pages) of my textbook. I was amazed. Small accomplishments (no matter how pointless they seem) are cool. I also listened to some foreigners yapping at a table a little ways from my table. I couldn't decide if they were English or Australian or somewhere in between. They had a bit of a Cockney flair to their accents... I'm pretty sure they were from somewhere near Antarctica.
Then I hopped on the bus to work. Work was busy as all hell when I arrived (and until closing). Didn't get any homework done there for sure. But it was fine. I had fun. My co-worker was freaking out because of how busy it was though. I swear she looked like she was about to faint and go into a coma.
I know how she feels.
After work, I went to see a play! Actually, I ushered it. So that I could get extra credit for my theatre class AND see the show for free. I wish I would have taken a cell phone photo of the set. It was amazing. Two stories high. Looked like a real house with cutaways on the sides. I'm sure photos are on the internet somewhere. They always are. Maybe I'll post one.
Had to leave the show 10 minutes early though to catch the bloody bus. My theatre comrades were very brilliant though. I enjoyed it. I almost cried damn near cried 30 times and laughed 3 times that amount... it was so good.
Anyway, what about my skin? Well, the hands did a little damage. I really can't sit still and read for very long without my retarded hands feeling around my arms or neck or whatever. Bit my lips a little too. But no major 'picking episodes' yet. So I'm happy about that.
It's hard to be perfect at anything. I should just stop thinking about trying to be PERFECT. If I'm too perfect and restrictive, it'll all just blow up in my face one isolated night in the future. Rehab is not easy. Trying not to be TOO perfect at this might the key to getting cured. But yet if I don't--- If I don't think about how I made a promise myself to keep a clean report card regarding my 'skin murdering' behavior, then I might not get better.
Me thinking about how I will have to blog and be truthful with myself is helping me be more aware of what my hands do. I really feel I cannot let myself slip up, not even once. Because I will have to blog about HOW and WHY I slipped up. Then again, that's how you learn. Grr.
I mean, if I slip up once, and blow it off as no big deal in a blog... I'm deathly afraid it's bound to happen again. And again. And ugh, AGAIN.
...For all eternity.
And it hurts way too much for me to bare it that long.
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