blubble.

for this blog, i have decided to not use the caps lock key (or the shift key because that's just too much trouble). caps lock key... what's up wich you? you don't like, do your job. i go to press you and you don't 'press' and i'm stuck in zilch-caps-lock-land. why do i have to press you twice to get you to wake up? you are part of a crappy dell keyboard that's why. i'm gonna replace you and your friends with a different keyboard that is also black to match the other components that complete my dell computer set. there.

where oh where was i . . .

blogging i think . . . ?

chyes, cherita?

chyes.

ummmm so, i thought i should think about thinking about blogging tonight? because, ya knowww... my skin picking has increased since i haven't blogged in a few days? (my theory that a lack of blogging = a lack of curing dermatillomania stands correct.) yeah, sad story. learn from it! move on. do better next time.

whatever.

alright took care of that - admitted i picked at my skin and i failed at not picking at it, blah blah blah - what else is there to talk about that you have no interest in... let's see...

ummm... i was off from work today and will be tomorrow as well. days off, they seem SO delicious when you're at work right? soooo delectable and out of reach yet still within reach and you want them dearly because stress and people at work get on your every last nerve - you just wanna escape from that place as quickly as possible. however - upon the sunny arrival of your day off, you soon realize how boring you really are. you wake up too late and the day either drags or goes by too fast. you get nothing done and you have no idea why. your brain's list of things to do goes out the window. i mean, you get one or two things done, but not as much as you had hoped for. you just kind of feel alone. i mean, don't get me wrong, you are happy to be alone in the house - there is no doubt about that. but eventually, eh... you just feel disappointed with yourself and life. you contemplate painting, then don't do it. you contemplate playing guitar or piano, then don't do it. you contemplate doing something creative, and end up not doing it. this really eats me alive considering i have accomplished nothing amazing in my life and i'm 24. it makes me terribly sad. how can people be so ambitious 24/7? frick! maybe all ambitious people in this world have a car to avoid a mess like this. getting a car takes so much time though. what the hell...


when you're finally somewhere, you instantly wish you were somewhere else.



agh, i just haven't found what i love love love to do. i have a feeling i may never find it. by the time i do, i fear i'll be 60 and getting ready for my grave. (if i live that long, ha.) seriously though... why does this depress me? i overthink and expect too much of myself and get nothing done. it's so addicting though. to overthink and expect too much and get nothing done. wait a sec... lately i have been expecting less of myself... that's it! expecting less because i'm so unsure about anything and everything. that's gotta be the problem. it's so funny how you can be afraid of wasting time on a certain path and end up wasting so much time trying to choose the right path! maybe i just need more inspiration around me. just kidding! that's what got me all a.d.d. in the first place. it's got me all psycho.

my mind is a bleeping prison. i can't be the only one . . . if anyone understands or has any suggestions, let me know? please? :)



well, enough blubble (word i made up for 'rambling'). i just hope and pray i thoroughly enjoy my day off tomorrow. i want to so bad. i will definitely take another jog. i've been jogging a lot more lately. they are the best at mending emotional days even though it's hard to wanna go outside. :)



life! life! life! you're awesome and entirely stupid all at once! tricky little bastard you are!



goodnight.




*for tonight's blog tags, i'm just copying the examples given by blogthings. so no, none of these tags have anything to do with this blog. i sowwy. :/